I'll Be There

Different experiences obviously produce different emotions, and from that we learn in a different way. At this point of our lives, many of us have been around death and everything that comes with it at least once or twice. We know how it feels, and we all react according to our own emotions and beliefs.

It's the hardest part of life, just a glimpse of how precious life can be. Yet, there is a difference to the feeling you feel between a personal death, and a death you see on the news. Those are two completely different emotions. One is a strong feeling of personal sadness, the other is sadness for those surrounding them, which can, at times be just at strong considering the number of people affected. It's different.

I was put in the middle of this spectrum earlier this week. A friend of mine's sibling passed away suddenly, and myself and other friends went to see him at the wake. Now knowing the person who had died, I had never really done something like that before, other than being an altar server in elementary school at funerals. At that point I didn't really understand what went into this kind of thing.

When you are connected in some way, but not directly, it makes you think a little bit differently. I saw the face of my friend, different than ever before, and it tore me up inside. I saw the face of his mother, overwhelmed by the support. I saw the face of his father, still heartbroken. I saw my own friends, dopes just like myself, humbled by this experience. There were hugs that couldn't last long enough, handshakes that trembled yet still with a sense of firmness.

When a loved one dies, we have our own memories to live on during the hardest times. I had no memories of myself and the person who had passed, so these moments were what I lived by. My memories with my close friend started to filter through my brain, and the fact that his entire life would be different forever, and my relationship with him as well.

There is no right thing to say to anyone, as everyone reacts differently. Just being there though, is often more than enough.

And you know what, it's not fair. But it can't be changed. It's hard to appreciate people on a daily basis, even the people we love the most. At the end of the day though, it's not worth holding a grudge. You just never know. When it comes to family and close, trustworthy friends, it might be time to take a step back from the stupid little things and let it all go for the big picture. We are here just a brief moment in time, some of us a little longer, some of us a little shorter. What is the point of hating, complaining, nagging, and needing in the grand scheme of things?

After attending something like that, anyone that does not call their own family members and just saying "I love you" needs a reality check. Things don't always go our way. But that is one of the only things we can control, a simple phone call, or text message. I've thought about that wake everyday since I went on Monday, it's something I'll never forget.

It's not going to be easy for my friend, as we all know. It isn't easy for anyone. The only thing I can do, is be there for him, and live my own life without a regret, and never forget to keep the main thing the main thing in my mind.