Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Giving Thanks the Hard Way

In just about a week, Turkey's will be carved, gravy will be poured, stuffing will be stuffed, and backyards will be filled with brothers and sisters fighting for every inch on the makeshift football fields. It's going to be Thanksgiving. A holiday devoted to a lot of eating and sleeping. Other than that fact, it should be like any other day, as simply saying the word "thanks" should be a regular occurrence...but is it?

It's easy to have a door opened for you and you respond with a thank you. Like I always talk about, it helps build the community around us. Obviously though, really really giving thanks is something deeper. Some of us are given quite a bit in life, some of us aren't. Some of us earn a lot in life, some of us don't. Being thankful for the things we earn is important, as the gifts that God gave us become evident. Without those skills, we would have no chance at earning anything. We need to be thankful for that.

Another aspect of appreciating what we have is actually criticism. How else do we get better? If someone takes the time, to be constructive and let us know when we are in the wrong, that is indeed a blessing from God. If it comes out in an extremely negative way, we need to consider the source, pray for them, and maybe try to take something good out of what they say. It's hard to pray for those who are mean to us, let alone be thankful for those people. Yet, there is some good in everybody, believe it or not.

A lot of times, different arguments can come from seeing family again, which is completely natural. Often those arguments can arise out of sheer nothingness, and may be hiding other frustrations. We need to remember though, not only the reason for the holiday, but the reason we are on this earth to begin with. We need to be happy to be around other people. That's the beauty of being here, learning about other people. That's when life can be the most interesting, when you learn about more and more people, who are different in every way. That makes it fun.

So, let's be thankful for everyone around us, not matter if they are our best friend or our worst enemy. We probably wouldn't be who we are without them, so let's celebrate it, why not? Happy Thanksgiving.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Just a Moment Ago

Our life is made up of moments, each one individual in its own right, but in some way, connected to all the others preceding it and following it. Now in these moments we become a different person in our reactions to whatever happens to us. They can be both positive and negative towards our growth in life.

Sometimes, these moments can stay with us for the rest of our lives, with us going back in the memory bank and using them as a guide or some type of motivation. Because we all live life for various reasons, with those motivations often coming in the form of mistakes in the past. Some people live a certain way for that very reason, to right some kind of wrong that happened in their lives.

I bring this up, because it actually relates to the football field. As I write these words now, I have one day left in my entire football/organized sport playing career. It's a fascinating feeling. I'm a much different person now than I was back on the first day of Freshman year. My motivations for playing the game have changed as well.

My first two years, I played the game based on something that happened in my past days of playing football. Something negative that happened in a game, which motivated me to work harder than I ever had before, just to make sure I righted that wrong in my life, and that success would be what I remembered from playing the sport, instead of bitter defeat.

Something changed after my sophomore year though, and once again it came in the midst of a devastating loss. Being upset in the playoffs will hurt anyone, and become the cause for motivation for anyone involved. This time though, I did not get anger out of this game, I got something more. I looked in the eyes of the guys who would never play the game again, and thought, isn't this a bit selfish of me, to simply go out and play the game just for myself? Sure, I can have that moment from high school in the back of my mind if I want, but I'd get a lot more out of it if I had someone else to be responsible for.

So, I changed. I thought of everyone on the team, and their backstory, and the way they worked out on the field, and their feelings, and saw something in myself change. I worked just as hard, but there was more of a love in doing so, in that if I did not work as hard as I could, I'd not only be letting myself down, but every single person on the team as well. Learning more about my teammates, I began to have more fun, and enjoy the game for what it was worth. Memories started to emerge, and feelings I did not know I had of this all fading away once my career ended. I mean, I'm going to miss these guys.

Yet, as I sit here in the moment, I realize that this is something I will look back on and smile throughout my life. And that this transformation within myself, from doing something just for myself, to doing it for my teammates as well, will serve me well in life.

Sure, in our everyday lives we must look out for ourselves. That's very important. But by looking out for others, loved ones, friends, family, but strangers too, it makes our lives much more worthwhile. There's a rush to feeling depended on, and responsible for not only our own success, but others as well. Life is too boring all on our own, we need to see the world through other people's eyes as well, because it is often so different than ours that we cannot look away. As we get to know more and more people, and what makes them happy, that makes life a lot more fun.

This moment is a special one, no matter what it is. So it's time to enjoy it, and let it be a memory that we use throughout our lives.

So, tomorrow ends my football career, but 20 years from now, I'll be talking with one of my ex-teammates about something that happened during the season, and at some point, someone will say, "That feels like so long ago."

I'll answer, "Nah, it was only a moment ago."

Friday, November 5, 2010

I'll Be There

Different experiences obviously produce different emotions, and from that we learn in a different way. At this point of our lives, many of us have been around death and everything that comes with it at least once or twice. We know how it feels, and we all react according to our own emotions and beliefs.

It's the hardest part of life, just a glimpse of how precious life can be. Yet, there is a difference to the feeling you feel between a personal death, and a death you see on the news. Those are two completely different emotions. One is a strong feeling of personal sadness, the other is sadness for those surrounding them, which can, at times be just at strong considering the number of people affected. It's different.

I was put in the middle of this spectrum earlier this week. A friend of mine's sibling passed away suddenly, and myself and other friends went to see him at the wake. Now knowing the person who had died, I had never really done something like that before, other than being an altar server in elementary school at funerals. At that point I didn't really understand what went into this kind of thing.

When you are connected in some way, but not directly, it makes you think a little bit differently. I saw the face of my friend, different than ever before, and it tore me up inside. I saw the face of his mother, overwhelmed by the support. I saw the face of his father, still heartbroken. I saw my own friends, dopes just like myself, humbled by this experience. There were hugs that couldn't last long enough, handshakes that trembled yet still with a sense of firmness.

When a loved one dies, we have our own memories to live on during the hardest times. I had no memories of myself and the person who had passed, so these moments were what I lived by. My memories with my close friend started to filter through my brain, and the fact that his entire life would be different forever, and my relationship with him as well.

There is no right thing to say to anyone, as everyone reacts differently. Just being there though, is often more than enough.

And you know what, it's not fair. But it can't be changed. It's hard to appreciate people on a daily basis, even the people we love the most. At the end of the day though, it's not worth holding a grudge. You just never know. When it comes to family and close, trustworthy friends, it might be time to take a step back from the stupid little things and let it all go for the big picture. We are here just a brief moment in time, some of us a little longer, some of us a little shorter. What is the point of hating, complaining, nagging, and needing in the grand scheme of things?

After attending something like that, anyone that does not call their own family members and just saying "I love you" needs a reality check. Things don't always go our way. But that is one of the only things we can control, a simple phone call, or text message. I've thought about that wake everyday since I went on Monday, it's something I'll never forget.

It's not going to be easy for my friend, as we all know. It isn't easy for anyone. The only thing I can do, is be there for him, and live my own life without a regret, and never forget to keep the main thing the main thing in my mind.