Don't Give Up

It might seem like an ordinary basketball doubleheader, on an ordinary night. But on Tuesday evening, there was more at stake than a simple win or loss on a college basketball team's record. It was all a part of the Jimmy V classic on ESPN, inspired by Jim Valvano, who lost his life to cancer more than a decade ago. It's an annual occurrence in an effort to inspire people to give more to cancer research and the Jimmy V Foundation.

As the founder, Jimmy Valvano got the project started during ESPN's ESPY awards in 1993...17 years ago. He gave one of the most touching, inspiring speeches of all time. I encourage you to read the transcript on the bottom, or even watch it online. It may take about ten minutes, but that simple ten minutes may change your attitude on this day, and for days to come, as a dying man spoke about his spirit lasting forever....

Here's the video: http://www.jimmyv.org/remembering-jim/espy-awards-speech.html


Here's the transcript:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Jim Valvano:

I can't tell you what an honor it is, to even be mentioned in the same breath with Arthur Ashe. This is something I certainly will treasure forever. But, as it was said on the tape, and I also don't have one of those things going with the cue cards, so I'm going to speak longer than anybody else has spoken tonight. That's the way it goes. Time is very precious to me. I don't know how much I have left and I have some things that I would like to say. Hopefully, at the end, I will have said something that will be important to other people too.

But, I can't help it. Now I'm fighting cancer, everybody knows that. People ask me all the time about how you go through your life and how's your day, and nothing is changed for me. As Dick said, I'm a very emotional and passionate man. I can't help it. That's being the son of Rocco and Angelina Valvano. It comes with the territory. We hug, we kiss, we love. When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it's the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.

I rode on the plane up today with Mike Krzyzewski, my good friend and wonderful coach. People don't realize he's ten times a better person than he is a coach, and we know he's a great coach. He's meant a lot to me in these last five or six months with my battle. But when I look at Mike, I think, we competed against each other as players. I coached against him for fifteen years, and I always have to think about what's important in life to me are these three things. Where you started, where you are and where you're going to be. Those are the three things that I try to do every day. When I think about getting up and giving a speech, I can't help it. I have to remember the first speech I ever gave.

I was coaching at Rutgers University, that was my first job, oh that's wonderful (reaction to applause), and I was the freshman coach. That's when freshmen played on freshman teams, and I was so fired up about my first job. I see Lou Holtz here. Coach Holtz, who doesn't like the very first job you had? The very first time you stood in the locker room to give a pep talk. That's a special place, the locker room, for a coach to give a talk. So my idol as a coach was Vince Lombardi, and I read this book called "Commitment To Excellence" by Vince Lombardi. And in the book, Lombardi talked about the fist time he spoke before his Green Bay Packers team in the locker room, and they were perennial losers. I'm reading this and Lombardi said he was thinking should it be a long talk, or a short talk? But he wanted it to be emotional, so it would be brief. So here's what I did. Normally you get in the locker room, I don't know, twenty-five minutes, a half hour before the team takes the field, you do your little x and o's, and then you give the great Knute Rockne talk. We all do. Speech number eight-four. You pull them right out, you get ready. You get your squad ready. Well, this is the first one I ever gave and I read this thing. Lombardi, what he said was he didn't go in, he waited. His team wondering, where is he? Where is this great coach? He's not there. Ten minutes he's still not there. Three minutes before they could take the field Lombardi comes in, bangs the door open, and I think you all remember what great presence he had, great presence. He walked in and he walked back and forth, like this, just walked, staring at the players. He said, "All eyes on me." I'm reading this in this book. I'm getting this picture of Lombardi before his first game and he said "Gentlemen, we will be successful this year, if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers." They knocked the walls down and the rest was history. I said, that's beautiful. I'm going to do that. Your family, your religion and Rutgers basketball. That's it. I had it. Listen, I'm twenty-one years old. The kids I'm coaching are nineteen, and I'm going to be the greatest coach in the world, the next Lombardi. I'm practicing outside of the locker room and the managers tell me you got to go in. Not yet, not yet, family, religion, Rutgers Basketball. All eyes on me. I got it, I got it. Then finally he said, three minutes, I said fine. True story. I go to knock the doors open just like Lombardi. Boom! They don't open. I almost broke my arm. Now I was down, the players were looking. Help the coach out, help him out. Now I did like Lombardi, I walked back and forth, and I was going like that with my arm getting the feeling back in it. Finally I said, "Gentlemen, all eyes on me." These kids wanted to play, they're nineteen. "Let's go," I said. "Gentlemen, we'll be successful this year if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers," I told them. I did that. I remember that. I remember where I came from.

It's so important to know where you are. I know where I am right now. How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. You have to be willing to work for it.

I talked about my family, my family's so important. People think I have courage. The courage in my family are my wife Pam, my three daughters, here, Nicole, Jamie, LeeAnn, my mom, who's right here too. That screen is flashing up there thirty seconds like I care about that screen right now, huh? I got tumors all over my body. I'm worried about some guy in the back going thirty seconds? You got a lot, hey va fa napoli, buddy. You got a lot.

I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you're emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm," to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality.

Now I look at where I am now and I know what I want to do. What I would like to be able to do is spend whatever time I have left and to give, and maybe, some hope to others. Arthur Ashe Foundation is a wonderful thing, and AIDS, the amount of money pouring in for AIDS is not enough, but is significant. But if I told you it's ten times the amount that goes in for cancer research. I also told you that five hundred thousand people will die this year of cancer. I also tell you that one in every four will be afflicted with this disease, and yet somehow, we seem to have put it in a little bit of the background. I want to bring it back on the front table. We need your help. I need your help. We need money for research. It may not save my life. It may save my children's lives. It may save someone you love. And ESPN has been so kind to support me in this endeavor and allow me to announce tonight, that with ESPN's support, which means what? Their money and their dollars and they're helping me-we are starting the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. And it's motto is "Don't give up, don't ever give up." That's what I'm going to try to do every minute that I have left. I will thank God for the day and the moment I have. If you see me, smile and give me a hug. That's important to me too. But try if you can to support, whether it's AIDS or the cancer foundation, so that someone else might survive, might prosper and might actually be cured of this dreaded disease. I can't thank ESPN enough for allowing this to happen. I'm going to work as hard as I can for cancer research and hopefully, maybe, we'll have some cures and some breakthroughs. I'd like to think, I'm going to fight my brains out to be back here again next year for the Arthur Ashe recipient. I want to give it next year!

I know, I gotta go, I gotta go, and I got one last thing and I said it before, and I want to say it again. Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.

I thank you and God bless you all.

Something Is Coming

In case you are wondering, Advent started this past weekend. As a kid, it felt like the longest four weeks of the year, just waiting, waiting, waiting, for December 25th to come around. I'm not going to lie, the presents were pretty cool, which is probably a typical reason to really want Christmas to come around. There was always that reminder though, that it means something more. I had the advantage of attending Catholic school, so the fact that Jesus was the real gift was constantly instilled in my life.

You look at the shopping craze, the way some people just lament the holidays, and all of the stress that accompanies the season. It's easy to say all hope is lost for the real reason of the season. I beg to differ. Instead of turning to the malls to find some real Christmas spirit, I've found that the television has the best semblance of a reminder of why we celebrate this holiday.

The values often expressed in various Christmas specials parallel how Jesus wants us to act. Sure, claymation isn't for everybody, but there is an underlying message that is has some good in it, and it battles those feelings of greed and selfishness that corrupt today's society. Even Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang gets in the act, with Linus actually telling the Christmas story at the end.

It's easy to stress yourself out over these next four weeks, but maybe, if you just put on the television, something may change deep inside you, as you watch a drawing talk about the real meaning of Christmas. There is no reason to fall into the trap of critisizing people for becoming too involved in the gift getting, because there is hope.

Let's build on that hope in our own lives, and maybe that will make everyone around us a little bit more cheerful as well.

Giving Thanks the Hard Way

In just about a week, Turkey's will be carved, gravy will be poured, stuffing will be stuffed, and backyards will be filled with brothers and sisters fighting for every inch on the makeshift football fields. It's going to be Thanksgiving. A holiday devoted to a lot of eating and sleeping. Other than that fact, it should be like any other day, as simply saying the word "thanks" should be a regular occurrence...but is it?

It's easy to have a door opened for you and you respond with a thank you. Like I always talk about, it helps build the community around us. Obviously though, really really giving thanks is something deeper. Some of us are given quite a bit in life, some of us aren't. Some of us earn a lot in life, some of us don't. Being thankful for the things we earn is important, as the gifts that God gave us become evident. Without those skills, we would have no chance at earning anything. We need to be thankful for that.

Another aspect of appreciating what we have is actually criticism. How else do we get better? If someone takes the time, to be constructive and let us know when we are in the wrong, that is indeed a blessing from God. If it comes out in an extremely negative way, we need to consider the source, pray for them, and maybe try to take something good out of what they say. It's hard to pray for those who are mean to us, let alone be thankful for those people. Yet, there is some good in everybody, believe it or not.

A lot of times, different arguments can come from seeing family again, which is completely natural. Often those arguments can arise out of sheer nothingness, and may be hiding other frustrations. We need to remember though, not only the reason for the holiday, but the reason we are on this earth to begin with. We need to be happy to be around other people. That's the beauty of being here, learning about other people. That's when life can be the most interesting, when you learn about more and more people, who are different in every way. That makes it fun.

So, let's be thankful for everyone around us, not matter if they are our best friend or our worst enemy. We probably wouldn't be who we are without them, so let's celebrate it, why not? Happy Thanksgiving.

Just a Moment Ago

Our life is made up of moments, each one individual in its own right, but in some way, connected to all the others preceding it and following it. Now in these moments we become a different person in our reactions to whatever happens to us. They can be both positive and negative towards our growth in life.

Sometimes, these moments can stay with us for the rest of our lives, with us going back in the memory bank and using them as a guide or some type of motivation. Because we all live life for various reasons, with those motivations often coming in the form of mistakes in the past. Some people live a certain way for that very reason, to right some kind of wrong that happened in their lives.

I bring this up, because it actually relates to the football field. As I write these words now, I have one day left in my entire football/organized sport playing career. It's a fascinating feeling. I'm a much different person now than I was back on the first day of Freshman year. My motivations for playing the game have changed as well.

My first two years, I played the game based on something that happened in my past days of playing football. Something negative that happened in a game, which motivated me to work harder than I ever had before, just to make sure I righted that wrong in my life, and that success would be what I remembered from playing the sport, instead of bitter defeat.

Something changed after my sophomore year though, and once again it came in the midst of a devastating loss. Being upset in the playoffs will hurt anyone, and become the cause for motivation for anyone involved. This time though, I did not get anger out of this game, I got something more. I looked in the eyes of the guys who would never play the game again, and thought, isn't this a bit selfish of me, to simply go out and play the game just for myself? Sure, I can have that moment from high school in the back of my mind if I want, but I'd get a lot more out of it if I had someone else to be responsible for.

So, I changed. I thought of everyone on the team, and their backstory, and the way they worked out on the field, and their feelings, and saw something in myself change. I worked just as hard, but there was more of a love in doing so, in that if I did not work as hard as I could, I'd not only be letting myself down, but every single person on the team as well. Learning more about my teammates, I began to have more fun, and enjoy the game for what it was worth. Memories started to emerge, and feelings I did not know I had of this all fading away once my career ended. I mean, I'm going to miss these guys.

Yet, as I sit here in the moment, I realize that this is something I will look back on and smile throughout my life. And that this transformation within myself, from doing something just for myself, to doing it for my teammates as well, will serve me well in life.

Sure, in our everyday lives we must look out for ourselves. That's very important. But by looking out for others, loved ones, friends, family, but strangers too, it makes our lives much more worthwhile. There's a rush to feeling depended on, and responsible for not only our own success, but others as well. Life is too boring all on our own, we need to see the world through other people's eyes as well, because it is often so different than ours that we cannot look away. As we get to know more and more people, and what makes them happy, that makes life a lot more fun.

This moment is a special one, no matter what it is. So it's time to enjoy it, and let it be a memory that we use throughout our lives.

So, tomorrow ends my football career, but 20 years from now, I'll be talking with one of my ex-teammates about something that happened during the season, and at some point, someone will say, "That feels like so long ago."

I'll answer, "Nah, it was only a moment ago."

I'll Be There

Different experiences obviously produce different emotions, and from that we learn in a different way. At this point of our lives, many of us have been around death and everything that comes with it at least once or twice. We know how it feels, and we all react according to our own emotions and beliefs.

It's the hardest part of life, just a glimpse of how precious life can be. Yet, there is a difference to the feeling you feel between a personal death, and a death you see on the news. Those are two completely different emotions. One is a strong feeling of personal sadness, the other is sadness for those surrounding them, which can, at times be just at strong considering the number of people affected. It's different.

I was put in the middle of this spectrum earlier this week. A friend of mine's sibling passed away suddenly, and myself and other friends went to see him at the wake. Now knowing the person who had died, I had never really done something like that before, other than being an altar server in elementary school at funerals. At that point I didn't really understand what went into this kind of thing.

When you are connected in some way, but not directly, it makes you think a little bit differently. I saw the face of my friend, different than ever before, and it tore me up inside. I saw the face of his mother, overwhelmed by the support. I saw the face of his father, still heartbroken. I saw my own friends, dopes just like myself, humbled by this experience. There were hugs that couldn't last long enough, handshakes that trembled yet still with a sense of firmness.

When a loved one dies, we have our own memories to live on during the hardest times. I had no memories of myself and the person who had passed, so these moments were what I lived by. My memories with my close friend started to filter through my brain, and the fact that his entire life would be different forever, and my relationship with him as well.

There is no right thing to say to anyone, as everyone reacts differently. Just being there though, is often more than enough.

And you know what, it's not fair. But it can't be changed. It's hard to appreciate people on a daily basis, even the people we love the most. At the end of the day though, it's not worth holding a grudge. You just never know. When it comes to family and close, trustworthy friends, it might be time to take a step back from the stupid little things and let it all go for the big picture. We are here just a brief moment in time, some of us a little longer, some of us a little shorter. What is the point of hating, complaining, nagging, and needing in the grand scheme of things?

After attending something like that, anyone that does not call their own family members and just saying "I love you" needs a reality check. Things don't always go our way. But that is one of the only things we can control, a simple phone call, or text message. I've thought about that wake everyday since I went on Monday, it's something I'll never forget.

It's not going to be easy for my friend, as we all know. It isn't easy for anyone. The only thing I can do, is be there for him, and live my own life without a regret, and never forget to keep the main thing the main thing in my mind.

I'm Going to Church

Just yesterday, October 19th, was the Feast Day of St. Isaac Jogues, John de Brebeuf, and Companions. They were Jesuit priests who were the first North American martyrs to be recognized by the Catholic Church. They died because they defended God, and stood up for their faith even in the toughest of circumstances...a life or death situation.

So now, if there was a gun to your head, and you were asked if you believe in God, what would you say? It's a startling question, hence the Feast Day and the honoring of those who have indeed answered yes by making them known as martyrs. It's an amazing test of faith, and obviously, not everyone has to undergo that kind of test over the course of their lifetime.

But, we are tested to a lesser degree all the time. Something as little as going to church on Sunday can be considered one of those tests of faith. Are you willing to leave a riveting NFL game with your friends at 1 or 9 o clock if you're on the Ithaca College campus on the weekend? What would you say to them as you leave? If not on the IC Campus, how about a beautiful Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning? It's tough to leave, but it's really just an hour.

Some people are scared to express their faith to others, or even admit they are faith. For people my age, it is natural, as it can be weird to be different from the people around us. Some people accept it, some don't. A simple statement like, "I'm going to church," can turn into a 10 minute long debate, or 20 questions, where friends are asking all those tough questions about the Catholic Church and Jesus etc. A lot of those questions start with the word: Why?

Often, there is no explanation other than simply: That's what I believe. Nothing else really needs to be said after that. That is usually the right answer to every question about your faith. You believe it, and you're confident about that, and will defend it.

Now, it's not necessary for all of us to go off gallivanting about our faith, saying that our way is the only way. God doesn't want that. Some people choose to spread the Catholic faith to other countries by being a missionary or something like that, which is what some people are called to do. For us though, the only thing we really have to do is be sure of our faith, even in the toughest of atmospheres. That way, it spreads simply in our daily actions with others around us.

No one is forcing us to believe in God, only our own inner strength keeps our faith alive. So, be proud of it. Be proud of going to church when others decide not to. We get better in that hour. We don't necessarily have to be martyrs, but we can do our best to stay confident with our faith, and not be afraid to spread it to others on a daily basis.

The Man in the Mirror

As I sit here in my comfortable chair, in a room just around 72 degrees, typing away at almost the latest in technology, it's easy to feel comfortable and relaxed in this atmosphere. It's easy to take it for granted, and even complain or whine about the things I don't have.

Let's take ourselves to another place. A cold, dark one. A tight, enclosed space with 33 other people. No technology to speak of. Close your eyes and see it. Now see it for 69 days in a row. That's what the caved in miners in the San Jose mine in Chile had to deal with. Three months is an entire summer, think about how long that is, and all that you accomplished in that period of time. I completed an entire lifting program through that time, took an online course, and grew closer to my family. Those miners had none of that. Day after day, they had to sit and simply think.

We can often be the victim of our own thoughts, as over thinking anything can lead to flip flopping and possibly going down the wrong road, if our thoughts aren't corrected. Yet, these miners in Chili had nothing to do, but think. It's difficult for even myself to turn my mind off before I go to bed at night, but I don't know how I could handle that for 3 months in a row.

As of now, 17 miners have been rescued since yesterday, as finally these souls have seen a natural light. As near-death experiences often do, some of saved men claim that they are changed people forever.

One man, Mario Sepulveda, said in a CNN.com article, "I was with God, and I was with the devil. They fought, and God won," he said. Sepulveda also said he grabbed God's hand and never doubted that he would be rescued.

Cartoons always seem to show the whole angel and devil on the shoulders routine. But that statement infuses that cartoon into the real world. Now it would be pretty fascinating to see that fight between good and evil actually happen in front of our own eyes, but then you stop and think, when have I seen that in my life? Who won?

Did you take, or grab, God's hand, when it came to trusting Him to get you out of a sticky situation? It's pretty simple to take the easy way out, or the path of least resistance, which usually is the decision that will hurt the most people. Yet, Sepulveda had the strength to take the high road, whatever that might have meant down there, and work through the problem, and above all, have the faith that he would be saved. That's powerful stuff.

Something else that sticks out is the "changed man" idea. It bothers me, at times, that it takes a great tragedy, or near death experience, to really change people. I give them all the credit in the world for feeling like they need to change their lives, and maybe they did need that wake up call. But, for those who haven't had that near death experience in life, let's not wait to change. Yes, mistakes happen, but it's not right to repeat the same ones over and over again. We need to learn from others mistakes as well, so we as a people don't make the same ones.

So, instead of one huge tragic situation that changes us, why not use little ones every week to reevaluate our life? That way the change isn't so drastic so that we lose a little piece of ourselves. Come to church every Sunday, ready to evaluate the week beforehand. The good and bad decisions. The good and bad events. That's the only way to spark real change, and create real goodness. It's a constant state of transition, as we are never completely perfect. But God, and even loved ones, see that effort to indeed be the difference, that might not only change our own lives, but those around us as well.

When it comes to tough situations, we have to know we need God, but that all becomes easier if we tune-up our lives on a constant basis, instead of waiting for a disaster.

As the men get carried up in these next few days, think of their situation, and their thoughts, and how we would react. Michael Jackson sang about "The Man in the Mirror." The question is, do we like our own reaction? If not, you might have explaining to do, not only to God, but yourself as well.

Hopefully, by the end of it all, you can say, "I was, and still am with God."

You Gotta Have Faith

This week's readings concern faith. And well, there isn't much to say about faith. You basically either have it, or you don't. Sure, we all have doubts, but faith is what saves us from those doubts. It's one of those things that can really change you life though. A trust that we are all part of God's plan, and the piece of mind that He is always with us should keep us cool in even the most dire of situations. No matter what the problem is, faith helps us through it.

There's an emptiness without it, with no real cornerstone to rely on when things get rough, or even when things get great. Faith keeps us grounded, not allowing us to get ridiculously high or low depending on the situation. Ultimately, that keeps us in control of our lives, and able to make wise decisions.

Instead of dragging on and on about faith, today I'll cut the blog short, because my faith is different than yours. It's simply time to step up and make it stronger by growing that trust, coming to church more often, or just praying instead of freaking out.

So think about it, the only one who can change your faith is you.

A Heaven On Earth

As most of those giving homilies this weekend probably said, this week's Gospel is a tough one to handle. It involves a story Jesus told, where he talks about a rich man being sent to the netherworld after his death because of riches, while a poor man with sores was carried by angles to Abraham's side. Kind of makes you think doesn't it...

We are all used to the saying that the last will be first in heaven and the first will be last in heaven. Read that one again. Tough stuff to sink in. But it's not like we can go out and just live on the streets in the sheer hope that we are the last so that we make it to heaven. That's not giving an effort, which God wants us to do. You can work and have money and shelter, even Jesus had that, but He helped people along the way too. He spread His gifts and shared them with everyone, both rich and poor. That's what God wants us to do, to get to that next level.

Then the question arises, what does heaven look like exactly? We know, usually with God, it's never that cut and dry. I can't answer that question, Father Carsten can't answer that question, I don't think the Pope can even answer that question. It's not like some ocean side resort we can just go to for vacation. The fact that it's that much unknown intrigues me even more, all I really want is a glimpse. Yet, this is why we must learn patience. We have a whole life to live here on earth before any of that happens.

I've always thought about how I miss the old days, the young days, before school really even existed in my brain, playing on some giant slide or playground with my sisters. Whether you have that kind of memory or not, everything seemed easier back then, didn't it?

Well, that's over, or is it? And it's hard not to want that time back. But then you realize, sooner or later, it's actually coming. Except this time, you'll see it through different eyes. Either you or someone close to you will most likely get married and have children someday, and that's when you relive those days, playing with the kids, while spending time with those you once did the same with. Everything overlaps. To me, that's the secret to getting that kind of happiness back, other than the happy times in your everyday life. You get all the perks of being an adult, but get that kind of youthful wonder of life as well. The college age crowd isn't there yet for the most part, my crowd, it's the in between time. But, we cannot just wish for those future days, then we'll miss this precious time now. Every day is actually a huge chunk of our time on earth, especially compared with something as eternal as heaven.

So why not have some heaven on earth now, and enjoy ourselves as much as possible. Life's too short not to. Sure, we have work and problems and all that other stuff to deal with, but there isn't enough time to let it drag us down. If we live the right way, the way God wants us to, we can have all that extra time in eternity. We don't know quite what heaven is going to look like, but we do know that God wants us to give our gifts as much as possible while here on earth. That will truly determine what our heaven will be.

All that is guaranteed to us is this minute on this day on this year. The next moment can be taken away any second, so take this time now, and do everything you can to make it worth not only your own time, but those around you too.

That's where true happiness lies, in those moments we cherish, whether we are a toddler or a grandparent. And don't forget, there's no age limit for playing on the swings.

Take a Deep Breath

You study for a test every day the week before you take it...but your grade doesn't reflect that.

You practice your trumpet solo until your lips literally turn blue...but you miss that high C the day of the performance.

You run sprints and lift weights every single day for three months...but you still can't pass your conditioning test for the sport that you play.

You try really really hard to impress that guy/girl you have your eye on...but he/she still isn't impressed.

Tough, right? It's failure. A depressing start to a blog, but as Rocky Balboa said in his most recent Rocky movie..."life ain't all sunshine and rainbows." I may have mentioned that speech in the past, but here's a link to copy and paste to your browser to watch it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXKkIdBYXYM

Anyways, my question is, how do we deal with failure? It's not easy, for anybody, especially when the work and preparation is put in to its fullest extent. But, then again, it's a part of life.

Some people might give up, actually a lot of people give up if they don't think they are good enough at something. When has that ever been okay though? God each gave us gifts as individuals, maybe we aren't trusting that when we give up. Maybe failing to do something is a sign that we ought to use our skills a little bit differently. Keep playing the trumpet, but work up to that high C, so it's more consistent, maybe even approach practicing a bit differently.

The conditioning test won't be the end all and be all. If the work was done, there is a greater force at hand. Keep doing the extra hard work, but maybe use a mental approach as well, and be the best mentally on the entire squad.

The idea is to be the best at what your good at that you can be. We all can't be professional athletes, or get 4.0 after 4.0 after 4.0 every semester in school. But we can be the best at our own major, or at improvising a jazz solo.

The thing we cannot do is get down and depressed, so that it affects the rest of our lives. We need to all take a deep breath. Even the best of us can fail, and it's not all wrong to show emotion from that. We might think we need to be and show everyone that we are strong emotionally, or even others might think that because of our position in society. This article about football players battling depression can serve as a example that anyone can be affected by failure.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/jon_wertheim/09/21/depression/index.html?eref=sihp

But, with faith, we can get past it all. And even use it as motivation for the next time a challenge comes our way. I'm sure you've noticed that an underlying theme in my life is the fact that I'll do my work and put my best out there, and let God take care of the rest. It gives me confidence, and limits the stress I feel on an everyday basis.

Criticism comes from all angles, but like failure, that's a constant in our lives. It's often hard to accept, but by taking it for what it's worth, either constructive or nonconstructive, we can get better. That all comes from trusting both God and ourselves...our own words, actions and emotions.

Failure is a breeding ground for depression. It's a simple matter of how we approach it that makes or breaks our everyday life. It can be a good thing, no matter how hard we work, especially if we have the confidence that God has a plan for us, and knows what is best for us.

So, don't give up, but try again, and again, and again. There is no rule that says we have to stop trying. When we finally have success, it feels that much better. And kudos to those who get it on the first try. Whether it's the first try or the 21st, our confidence should stay the same, and simply do what's within our control to get what we can done.

When we know God is with us, and our preparation is put in, all we need to do is go out there and enjoy it, let loose, and have fun.

...not a bad ending after the Jonny raincloud beginning...

Guess Who's Back

Everything Jesus did when He was on earth, He did for a reason. The parables or stories He told weren't just random anecdotes to pass the time, they each had a greater meaning. The Bible is structured in a similar fashion, there is always something behind what is said.

We get to the story of the Prodigal Son, which took place in Luke's version of the Gospel this past weekend.

We all know the story...two sons are given their inheritance, one stays home and works, the other goes out and has himself a good ol' time blowing it all on this and that, that song comes back home with nothing, but is greeted like a king from the father, making the other brother jealous, but the father simply says his son has returned, and is thankful...

My guess would be that Jesus is not telling us to go out and party away all of our brains, money, education, friends, and family, leaving us cold and alone. The lesson is more in the way that brother was received by the father. You see, forgiveness is a constant with God, and it's shown again here.

Are we just as forgiving? It's hard to be. We are told that once a person abandons us, and wants something that we don't want, we should treat them like an outcast, especially if they come back. This past summer, NBA star LeBron James decided his team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, wasn't good enough, and he bolted to play with two more stars in Miami as a member of the Heat. In his first game in Cleveland playing against his old team, I'm pretty sure they won't have a party, as boos and jeers will rain down from every fan in the seats.

It's obviously not easy to forgive once you've been betrayed, especially if everyone's mindset is the same. Now I'm not saying to treat Lebron like the son and kill the fatted calf in celebration, but maybe everyone should simply respect his wishes...it is his life after all.

So let's apply that to our own lives. It's ok to be emotional, don't get me wrong. My mom yells at me all the time to show some more emotion, and you gotta listen to you mother, it is what it is.

Think about it...it's ok to be mad when a friend decides to leave you out of their plans for the night. It can be offensive. But, how you then react to that shows your true makeup. Will you overreact, causing a dramatic evening for everyone involved? That's not the way to do it. Just as they need to live their lives, you need to live yours. You need only yourself to make yourself happiest. So relax and do that in a different way, that doesn't involve that friend. Maybe next time you'll be included, maybe you won't, but don't let it make or break your day or night.

When it comes to being responsible for someone else, the father was probably hurt when his son ran off, but he needed to press on with his life. That was his son's decision. No matter what you do, either as a parent, sibling, or friend, it's always their decision, and as hard as you might try to sway that, you cannot get into that inner core of their conscience. Once again, just like God is with you, he is with our loved ones too. We can only control our own lives, so we need to worry about that first and foremost, and not let our loved ones decisions bring us down. We need to be there, but at a certain point, it's up to them, and the father knew that. He was just happy to have him back at the end of the story, and we need to greet anyone who does that to us the same way. No judging, no drama, just forgiveness and love.

I might have rambled a little bit, and I apologize for not having a "Dark Knight" Batman/Morgan Freeman reference. But, we need to trust each other and in God, that mistakes happen, and that people betray one another, and leave one another, and that the only thing we can control is our own individual actions.

Trust, and maybe our blood pressure will collectively go down just a little.

So, enjoy the day, because you can.

Labor Day

There are all sorts of holidays throughout the year. Some of them are religious in nature (Christmas and Easter), while others salute the armed forces (Memorial Day and Veterans Day). This past Monday though, was Labor Day. Everything, for the most part, shuts down.

Many look at it as just a long weekend, a chance to grill one last time before the frigid air of fall and winter finally moves in. But, we have the day off for a reason, an important reason. Much like Memorial Day, the unofficial beginning of summer, Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer, is under appreciated.

But, once again, it's time to look at this a little differently. We all work hard on a daily basis at our respective positions. Whether you're a businessman or a teacher, a day off is a blessing. It's also a time though, to reflect and pray for those who, even though it's a national holiday, still had to wake up and go into the workplace.

How do you think that newscast at 6pm went on? Anchors and reporters worked all Labor Day to put that together, most likely without any overtime hours.

How did that grass on the golf course you played on get cut? Well, someone was up before sunrise on the mower making sure the course looked nice.

Yup, those 24-hour operators weren't an automation either, as people had to come in and work so you could have your high definition satellite television fixed on the telephone.

Every job is different, some more different than others. Some baseball players only play once every five days, and get millions to do that. Others work 80 hours a week for just enough money to support their family.

It's a slippery slope, the job market. God wants us to be happy and love what we do. Usually, the more you like something, the harder you'll work and you'll be better at performing the tasks over the course of the day. However, out of necessity, some have to take the job, or jobs, that are available where they live. It's much harder to love work when one is forced to do it. We need to pray for those people, that they will work through those tough times, and find their niche, that will be both beneficial to their bank account and their well being.

I bring up the fact that we need money because this week's Gospel can be tough to handle. Who wants to renounce all of their possessions? How would one live, and support their loved ones, in those conditions? We don't necessarily have to take Jesus literally here. There are a few possibilities as to what exactly he means...

-He could be saying that we need to get rid of our lavish, gluttonous possessions. The stuff that we don't really need. Houses with 7 extra bedrooms, 4 extra cars for only 2 people, diamonds upon diamonds for your spouse...stuff like that. Those funds can go to better causes, that would help others out much much more.

But I have another thought that might be a bit more practical for those that don't have the funds to buy a million cars...

-Maybe Jesus is saying that we need to renounce the possessions of our mind. The thoughts of doubt, negativity, self-pity, and cynicism all are thoughts that bring us down in every way possible. They "possess" and take over our minds as well, not letting or shutting out anything good that wants to come in. By stripping those away, or getting to the root of those thoughts, we make room for Jesus, and his words. Think of the focus you can have during Church. Imagine hanging on every word the Priest says throughout mass...now that would be an accomplishment for the greater good.


Ok, so Labor Day? Let's tie it together. It's easy to take our own jobs and salary for granted, but let's appreciate those that work behind the scenes to make everyday life possible. Their happiness and well being at home depends solely on the money coming in from their job. For others, it's time to give all that extra money to those people in need, so that we can indeed have that piece of mind to rid ourselves of negativity. Life is too short to dread our job, or coming home, or random things in life in general. Don't be that miserable person, be that person who brightens everyone's day.

So, with your own possessive negativity renounced...why not start a pleasant conversation with that cashier on their last leg, and maybe inspire them to do the same.

These Changing Times

As the date turned from August 31st to September 1st last night, more than just the picture on your calendar changed. Although it's still a million degrees outside here in Ithaca, in just a few days, Labor Day will signal the unofficial end of summer. School buses will be back on their normal routes, those late summer nights will turn into 10:00 bed times.

While all of those seasonal changes are taking place, something bigger is going on at the same time. Everyone is a year older, and most, but not all, a year wiser. Think about where you were on this date one year ago. What were you doing? What was your state of mind?

Now, as a senior in college, I can't help but look back on four years ago at this time. I was just a little freshman, really without a clue what was going on. Now at 22, I feel pretty old. I mean, one of my teachers even told me they thought I had already graduated. Entertaining, but it makes you think a little bit. The fact is that no matter where you are in your life, age 12,22,42,or 62 you need to really ask yourself if this is where you want to be. Your own personal happiness can often control the happiness around you. It's contagious isn't it? A person is much more willing to help someone else, with a smile on their face, when they are happy with their own life. As things change, both big and small, it's important to remember that fact, and to stay in and treasure each and every moment, because before you know it, you're 22.

That idea of staying in the moment, and figuring out your state of mind as things change, relates to last week's readings too...it wouldn't be a Session with Eschen without some kind of connection right? The first reading from Sirach says not to search into things beyond your strength. You cannot control a lot of what happens in the future, which is why we all need to focus on the here and now, and if the way we are living makes us truly happy.

Adversity hits at unexpected times. We all know when the leaves will change from green to red to nothing, and can get ready for that. Our human nature tells us when to gear up for a school year or work, but it's what we do on a daily basis that gets us ready for anything bad that might happen unexpectedly. That's the only part that is within our strength.

The ongoing theme this week is to humble yourself. We need to humble ourselves enough to say that, hey, we need help, especially for those different aspects that are beyond our strength. That is where God takes over. With him, it's that much easier to get through tough times, and tough transitions as well. Your faith will be rewarded.

Somehow, Morgan Freeman is a constant in my movie references, but this time, it is him whose faith is rewarded. A couple years ago, the Batman movie, "The Dark Knight," was a summer box office hit. Morgan Freeman is Batman's technological guru, designing suits, weapons, and even the famous Batmobile. At the end of the movie, Batman puts his own spin on one of Freeman's inventions, making every cell phone a sonar like device, enabling Batman to invade every person's privacy in the city. Freeman says it's too much power for one man to have, and vows he will resign after Batman saves the day. But, after Batman tells Freeman to type his name in at the end, the system combusts, showing Freeman that indeed, his mind was in the right place.

Go to 1:02 of this link, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9c8w8ONAWM, to see the scene.

Freeman may not have liked that turn of events at the beginning, but Batman showed him the good that came from tough times.

As a whole, we are better because of all of the adversity that comes our way. Sure, it might be tough to handle in the moment, but by having faith in God, that he will indeed reward us for believing in him, and that good will come of it, we can get through it.

Starting college for the first time might be a big change, starting your first year at a new job might be one too. Starting your junior year might be a small blip on your radar, much like the end of summer for some. A sports injury or a family emergency will be unexpected. But, by focusing only about what is within our strength on a daily basis, we are ready for anything. By having faith in God being at our side, we don't have to question the fact that good will come from bad. That is how we get through those changes.

And as old as I might joke that I am, I know that today is all that matters, so why not enjoy it. When changes hit, it's time to embrace them, instead of hiding. It makes us who we are today, and who we will be a year from today too.

Back to Work

Well, I'm back for one final year here at the Ithaca College Catholic Community, and will once again be sharing thoughts about God, sports, school, and anything else that happens to cross my mind.

For those of you new to this forum, my name is Tom Eschen, a journalism major at Ithaca College. I played baseball for two years at IC, and am currently in my fourth and final season of playing football for the Bombers. This is my second year blogging with the Ithaca College Catholic Community, and hopefully I'll get better with every new post. So, I'm open to any suggestions or comments, of which you can either post right to the site or email me at teschen1@ithaca.edu.

It should be a fun semester, with my first post coming this Wednesday, September 1st...yes it is September already.

Good stuff...I'll see you out there.

The Golden Rule

Well, Jesus can't make it much simpler in the Gospel this week. He sums up basically all 10 Commandments in one simple statement: "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another."

If you're looking for the key to life, read that statement again. Then again, it might be easy to say, but surely it isn't the easiest thing to do. I'm not saying go and buy flowers and candy for someone who just beat you up or hurt you badly emotionally, I'm just saying that you may not like them, but they are one of God's children just like you and me. That's why you love them, because they are made out of God's image and likeness.

At the end of this Gospel, Jesus says, "That is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

It's like those television commercials where people doing good deeds spreads, and gets passed on and on and on. Someone opens a door for someone, then that person helps someone pick up papers, then that person lets them use their pen. The little things. If someone sees you showing compassion even in the toughest of atmospheres, they'll definitely learn from that. It's quite common to be wrongly accused of doing something to someone.

Say your best friend thinks you intentionally are trying to sabotage a relationship with someone else, and screams at you for that. It's easy to give in and fight back, but Jesus wants us to take a deep breath, and discuss things like human beings. By having that love of each other in the front of our minds, respect for other's viewpoints and opinions grows. Then, conflict can actually be resolved without World War 3 happening in your living room. By doing that, God can actually see that you truly believe in his teachings.

This whole taking a breath thing is widely underrated and underused. A few weeks ago, I was blogging about the month of April, which looked like it was going to be the end of me considering all the things I had to do. I actually read my blog more than once that day, and it calmed me down. The four weeks of April flew by, I'm still amazed that it's already May. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, because I took a step back and knew it was something I simply had to do, so there was no use stressing over it.

But sometimes, we need to take a step back from our own lives as well, and look at the even bigger picture. We cannot ignore national problems. Of course, we need to manage our own little lives and communities at first, but then we need to look at what is going on in the world around us.

Just a few days ago, gallons upon gallons of oil were accidentally spilled in the Gulf of Mexico. Some are saying it might be worse than the Exxon Valdez disaster in 1989. It's going to take months and months to clean it up, with the real damage being irreversible. Maybe we need to start thinking about how to help out, instead of being engrossed in our own little problems. Those problems probably aren't that big of a deal,but an oil spill is life-altering for people, communities, animals, and the environment as a whole. The least we can do is raise awareness that it actually happened, and get everyone else out of their shell and learn what is going on nationally.

Let us also be thankful for those who thwarted the potential car bomb in Times Square last week. Think about what would have happened if they had been too late...it's tough to picture, but we need to realize that the whole love thing I was talking about earlier isn't shared among all. In return, we as individuals and as a country can't lash out against the perpetrators, but in turn try to see their reasoning behind it and understand, and then make an effort at compromising beliefs. It might seem impossible, but it's been said before: Nothing is impossible with God.

So let's start loving one another, and hopefully those who don't have that love in their lives will watch Jesus' disciples turn the other cheek with pride and learn from that, and that maybe there is an alternative to fighting and violence. First let's do it in our own community, then expand it to the world.

By taking some small and then big steps, you might even surprise yourself.

With the first pick...

Greetings from a rainy day in Ithaca, NY. Considering 70's are forecasted for the weekend, I'll take my fair share of dreary Mondays. Anyways, sports references galore these days...but they make sense, so why not?

The National Football League's 2010 Draft took place over the weekend, an exhibition on rating people, the analysis for the three draft days is endless. Teams and fans of those teams are reassured by the thought of getting better in just a matter of minutes.

So, maybe it's time to think about your own life. Evaluate what parts you need to improve and what parts are doing pretty well. All the NFL teams did that same thing this weekend. Some had a weak offense, so they drafted players who would help that aspect of the team. Others may have lost their quarterback in the offseason, so if they were smart, they drafted a quarterback.

How smart are you though? Are you going to make the right move at this point? If you're struggling at respecting yourself, why not go on a diet, or go for a run. Each gives you confidence, rounding out your lifestyle. Doing something like that in lieu of a bad habit is key as well.

But a draft is really about people helping you get better...it's kind of hard to just pick up self-respect out of thin air. We all need help from others. So, think about who in your life can help you in specific areas. Maybe you can pinpoint a friend who will help keep you on that diet and exercise, who motivates you more than you yourself can. A running partner, or someone to eat with. It helps.

Why not make list of people like that just like the NFL teams...I would include mine but it's a pretty exclusive and private list. My all time #1 pick though is Jesus, He probably should be yours, considering He knows how to fix all of our shortcomings himself, and often acts through the closest people in our lives to make us better. But seriously, write it down. Like in the NFL, you only have seven rounds, so choose wisely. It's amazing how you can turn out if you surround yourself with the right people.

Don't think you're just using them either, as each person affects each other in a different way. We each have an impact on those closest to us, just like they have one on us.

We are really all in this together, and it's a lot better relating to each other, than living life as a loner. Sure, being independent has its strong points, but there is a time and place for everything. Moderation is important in life...with one exception...God.

So, pretend like you're an NFL Team, and you have to pick the seven people that you care about the most, and can help make you a complete, wholesome, and happy human being. Then make those bonds stronger.

One last note on the rain...a good quote I've heard more than once in my life..."If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain..."

21 Days Away

The golf world revealed another act of God this weekend, as rules were actually followed in a sport for once. We live in a day and age where cheating runs rampant in professional baseball, football, basketball, golf and hockey. It may be involving morals, or may just be trying to gain an edge physically. Performance enhancing drugs are mostly to blame for that. But in last weekend's Verizon Heritage golf tournament, golfer Brian Davis actually proved that winning just isn't the same if it's not done within the rules.

He had been battling with Jim Furyk all day, both at the top of the leader board. Furyk has been one of the better players on tour over the course of his career, winning multiple times. Davis though, was looking for his first-ever victory. After hitting the ball into a sand dune on the last hole, Davis had to play a pretty tricky shot to keep himself in contention. While he was bringing the club back in his swing, he just barely clipped a loose reed laying down in the sand. That is a rules violation in golf. Unseen by the naked eye, no one knew but Davis. Instead of letting it go unnoticed, the golfer called the penalty on himself, which was a two stroke violation, eliminating his chances of winning his first tournament.

Now ask yourself, would you do the same thing in that situation? That's putting honesty to the maximum, especially with a monetary value on the line. It's like telling a cashier they gave you too much change, or that you were graded too high on a test or paper. It takes a certain kind of person to go through life that way. Everyone wants to act that way, but it is pretty easy to take advantage of catching a break or two.

The question then is did you deserve that break? A lot of times, people feel entitled, like they deserved an award over someone else, or that they had money stolen from them so they deserved a couple extra dollars. The only ones who deserve anything are those who haven't sinned. Haven't seen anybody like that in 2000 years or so. Everyone else is on an even playing field. That's why hard work is required: To -earn- the good things in life. We might work our hardest, and things still might not work out. Once again, that's just a part of God's plan. We all learn something from working hard, no matter if we are successful or not. On the last hole, the win didn't matter to Davis, he knew that if he cheated his way to winning he wouldn't deserve the victory. Yet, he learned he can play pretty well by working hard. I bet, that in the next time he is in that position, he will indeed perform better, obviously learning from his mistake of the past.

Look at this week's Gospel. The apostles are once again out fishing, which they don't seem that great at considering their past endeavors. But once again, Jesus proves to be the difference. He tells them to put the net on the other side of the boat, where fish are abundant. Peter...who has made his fair share of mistakes in the past...jumps out of the boat into the water to get to shore where Jesus is. Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure bathing suits were lacking those days, so envision Peter, drenched in heavy clothing, scurrying to meet Jesus on shore. Pretty solid act of faith there.

Sometimes, maybe we just need a little nudge in the right direction. I believe everyone truly is good at heart...just like Peter. Put your net on the other side of the boat. Change a bad habit into a good one. You've got to work at that too. The head Ithaca College football coach always says it takes 21 days to establish a habit, good or bad. That means I have to commit to standing on the correct spot on the field for that amount of days, or else I'll always be in the wrong place.

Think of how being focused on doing something good for three straight weeks will impact your life for the rest of the year. It's not that long, just 3 out of 52 weeks in a year. It may be hard at first, but by training yourself in a good way, you will start to earn things, instead of feeling like you just deserve to be rewarded. Maybe start that 21 day process by simply switching those two words in your life. Catch and stop yourself when you think about entitlement, and insert the word earn and hard work into your everyday life. That will cut down on laziness that each and every one of us has.

As I said above, Davis trained himself to act and think in a honest way. He had all the incentive in the world to keep his mouth shut, yet his good habit said that wasn't an option. Peter had some bad habits at times, but he trained himself to recognize God and believe in Him.

Let's start some of those 21 day cycles right now.

Faith Be With You

The week after Easter Sunday always features the classic Gospel of Jesus appearing before the apostles for the first time. It's the story of Thomas doubting the fact that Jesus rose from the dead. We hear it every year, and it's kind of the cornerstone story when it comes to faith.

We live with so many doubts in our daily lives. All of the time Catholics question their very own beliefs too. They say, "How do I know Jesus rose from the dead?" or "How can I be sure there even is a God?" That's why faith is a cool thing. It's believing in something that isn't even there.

Look at Santa Claus. There is nothing like the innocence of a child right? They often have more faith about something as trivial as a man in a big red suit than adults have about their Creator. The kids don't need to see Santa Claus to believe in him, they just know he is there. Faith is knowing that God is there, and believing in every part of Him and everything He did and will do.

Yet, God knows that we are sinners, and that we have transgressions and times of doubt just like Thomas...as we are human after all. We may strive for perfection, but that probably won't happen for us anytime soon. As always, God forgives us. Sometimes, he even rewards us for still believing.

The Masters Golf Tournament took place this past weekend, and it is basically the Super Bowl for professional golf. It takes place on the most prestigious course with the best competition of the season. Yet, this year, instead of talk of course changes to Augusta National or whether someone was playing really well, everyone was focused on one thing...Tiger Woods. The star of the sport had been missing for months after his sex scandal where he cheated on his wife with multiple women. Before that, besides some on course blowups, Woods' image was squeaky clean. A great role model. But after story after story came out about his transgressions, it was hard to believe in any "good guy" in sports again. My faith was shaken, and it was hard to trust other stars in sports. But I still thought...everyone can't be like this right?

Myself and fans everywhere were rewarded for thoughts like that. Woods didn't win the tournament, but the softer, rounder lefty Phil Mickleson was victorious. After Phil's wife and mother were both diagnosed with cancer in the last year, his appearance at Augusta should've been the highest billing. Fittingly though, he triumphed at the end, a heartwarming story that made even the coldest of people beam with pride for the man. Unlike his competitor Woods, he couldn't control the distractions of his family life, but was able to focus anyways. All in all, it was refreshing to witness that performance. God showed me that good guys do exist, and can do well in the harshest of environments.

He obviously rewarded the apostles' years of following Jesus and their faith, though shaken, that He would return. God only wanted us to learn from what happened to Him. In his second appearance, He knew Thomas doubted his presence, but instead of making a scene, He simply said...Peace Be With You.

That should be a reassuring thought, that instead of fighting over trivial matters, just admit when we are wrong and there won't be a need for drama or conflict. It might make your life a bit simpler. Then again, Jesus wants us to bring that Peace wherever we go. What does this word Peace mean anyways? Think for a second what it means to you.

You might think of world peace...something Miss America might say, or the word might make you think of saying peace in Mass, or even a "piece" of pie. There's nothing wrong with any of that. World peace might seem unattainable from your position, but you do have a role. On the football field, everyone has a role. If I'm a blocker I better block my man or else my teammate is going to fail. Even if I'm the last guy off the bench, it's my job to practice hard and cheer for my teammates so that they get better. I have an impact no matter what. As a person in this world, you have an impact just like that. No matter how small it is, you have one. Let's just keep that in mind. The signs for being environmentally friendly are everywhere...just listen to some Michael Jackson and it's not that hard to figure out.

Right now, in these times where the economy is doubted and people are shouting that the world needs to be cleaned up, we once again need faith. If we aren't sure about it, God will forgive us. And if we have that knowing innocence of a child, we will be rewarded with peace and justice.

First though, we need to believe in God just because we can. We don't need proof, we don't need primary or secondary sources...we just know. Then, the rest will fall into place.

Now What?

What a way to start a column…Jesus is risen! After all those subdued days of preparation and prayer, the Easter season is here, not to mention the green buds of Spring appearing on the trees. By all means rejoice and enjoy it. It's one of the two biggest periods of time in the church year, so we better make note of it. When we started Lent, it was all about tweaking our everyday lives to get better for Easter. One of the main points of that though, is to let that change become a part of you long past the Lenten and Easter season.

That's not easy. It's simple to forget what you learned over those 40 days nights. It's simple to be gluttonous and have huge piles of the food you gave up on Easter morning. Lent should show everyone that moderation is vital, and it keeps you centered. It's something you can't forget.

Think about different parts of your life that you've forgotten about, or haven't remembered as much as you wanted to. It's remarkable to think that September 11, 2001 was over nine years ago. Yet, most people go days without thinking about that tragedy. Only the graphic images on the television or a reminder of a fallen loved one rekindle those thoughts. I bring it up months removed from the anniversary, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Sure, we don't want to be weighed down by those depressing thoughts, but the lessons learned about the value of life should be with us every single day. It changed the way we lived on September 12, why not now?

So here we sit, just a few days removed from one of God's greatest accomplishments, kind of in that recovery mode. What are you looking towards regarding your faith? Did this Lenten season help? Keep in mind; it's an awfully long time until something of this magnitude happens again.

In June, will we remember that Jesus forgave those who had wronged him while he was hanging on the cross? In July, will we remember that He, and not a disciple washed the other disciples feet? In August, will we remember that Joy of Easter, and the fact that the Hope of salvation is always there because of what Jesus did for us?

We might say we will remember, and that those actions hold a permanent place in our minds, but it's harder than everyone thinks. Much harder. Schedules fill up. To do lists get longer and longer. Time devoted to God becomes smaller every day removed from Easter Sunday. After Easter season, it's a long summer of Ordinary Time. The next time most of think of Jesus is when he is born in December.

An obvious solution to this forgetfulness is going to church on a weekly basis. There, the Last Supper is reenacted, kind of making it hard to forget Jesus dying for us. It also helps to hang a cross or crucifix somewhere on a wall in your place of residence. That's a visual, daily reminder of what Jesus did for us.

Those are some active things we can do, but it’s really about retraining our minds and making that mental effort to keep God in our minds. We are allowed to still partake in our daily activities. Going to classes, work, or just having a good time is all good in God’s eyes. But whether you’re in your car, walking on a sidewalk, or just sitting eating lunch, turn the music down or put down the fork, and think about how you felt on Good Friday or Easter. It might give you a different spring in your step or general attitude towards life on that day. It won’t hurt to think of those different momentous occasions in your life either.

Let's make the jubilation of Easter season a part of our lives every single day, especially during those months where we don't have a specific day that tells us to go to church. We don’t need a national holiday…so why not tell ourselves?

Holy Week

Well, it's almost time for the the big game. Holy Week. It's like March Madness for Catholics, the pinnacle of our Church year. Sure, everyday life is going to go on throughout this week, but it's our job as Catholics to take a step back from that, and to recognize that this is one of the cornerstones of our faith. We reenact this each year, which shows that it truly is important.

The only way to truly observe the Holy Triduum is to make yourself a part of it. Feel the emotions...the foreboding and foreshadowing of Holy Thursday, the pain and sadness of Good Friday, the patience and faith of Holy Saturday, and finally the rejoicing of Easter Sunday. Everyone uses those emotions on a daily basis, so why not use them for God. It helps us learn not only more about God, but ourselves as well.

You'll hear the Passion once again on Friday, but it will be from John. One line in Luke's on Palm Sunday stuck out to me though. Right after the crowd of chief priests, rulers, and regular people yell that they want Barabbas released, Luke tells us that Barabbas had been in prison for a rebellion and murder. I think we all know that murder is pretty bad, and wouldn't want a known murderer running around the streets rebelling. Yet, the people would rather have Barabbas on the streets, than Jesus, who has never hurt a fly. He was just changing the world.

Their thinking is just so backwards that it really makes me think, wow these people had no idea what they were talking about. They thought they did, but lost all sense of reality in the rush of actually making a difference with their voices. It's called getting caught in the moment, and not thinking about the consequences of actions. We can be so set on something that we block out any other alternatives, which probably could be better that what we are set on. That tunnel vision can really hurt us. I'm all for tradition and keeping things the same, but there are times when change really is good.

It's kind of what life is about. Whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, you have to embrace those turns in life, because the alternative is having the same thing happen day after day after day. Not very fun is it? Pretty repetitive. Things can change, but God needs to stay constant, that's where our grounding comes from.

Think about this week, although Jesus told them what would happen more than once, the apostles had their world rocked for three straight days. Some of it was good, some of it was terrible. By being scared to go out in public, their face was shaken too. We've all had those whirlwind stretches, where life's turns seem more severe than ever. We need to keep our faith strong in those instances, and think that maybe this change could be for the best down the road, and lead us where God has us meant to go. That's our fate, and our destiny, and we can get emotional about it.

So, in these next few days, feel sad, feel happy, get scared, give yourself to God and the events that save us. Change really is good, but keep God as that constant, traditional force. The Triduum is a pattern that repeats throughout our own lives, and with God as our Rock, our destiny is inevitable.

Who's on First?

With school back in session after a much needed week off, it's time to hit the last stretch of blogs for this spring semester. For anyone with kids, who is currently in school, or teaches in any capacity, these next couple months are often the hardest. Summer vacation is in sight, but you know what, there is work still to be done. It's easy to worry about all that is on the schedule, trust me, my April might be one of my toughest. Football practice at sunrise, documentary filming, paper writing, and even some volunteering fill up those 30 days for me. It's difficult to avoid those thoughts of doubt and exhaustion as I approach those days. I'm sure your schedule is as packed if not worse than my own.

But life is too short to think about doing all of that now. It's impossible, there's no time machine that can get me through it either. So I just have to deal with it, and even try to make something positive out of each activity I do.

Sunrise Football: I love my sleep just as much as you do, so I am not a morning person. Running around at 6 am though, illuminated by a rising ball of fire, will be good for me. It's seizing the day, literally not wasting a moment of sunlight. I'm also making my body better physically in the process. And that feel-good emotion that you get after a solid workout won't hurt either.

Documentary Filming: My topic is up in Syracuse, so time and travel will be involved. But I will be trying to capture the emotions of people and the controversial visuals of the polluted Onondaga Lake. That's good for society as a whole, and will improve my journalistic sense as well.

Paper Writing: Pretty self-explanitory, we probably all know the feeling of sitting down to a 20 or 10 page paper. It's impossible not to learn something in the process though. Whether it is in the research or the actual writing, some nugget of knowledge will be implanted in my head in that process.

Volunteering: I'm working up at the Cayuga Nature Center with people and animals, which is quite the task. I committed to it for a class, but the experience has grown on me, and I think it might even be in my plans for next semester as well. Sure, it takes up a considerable amount of my weekend relax time. But instead of watching a cheetah take down an ostrich on the Discovery Channel, I'll be cleaning the cage of boa constrictor. Kind of puts High Definition to shame doesn't it?

When budgeted correctly, those short 24 hours can be made much longer, and can fit all of those activities in without stress or worry. Looking at their positive side makes it much more attainable.

But wait...




Don't make the mistake I did. Writing this, I didn't know where to put God. Sure, that stuff I talked about is important, but God should always be the priority. In 50 years I might not have to know how to make a documentary or write a paper on the difference of mainstream and alternative media, but I will need to know God. As busy as I'm going to be, regardless of what I have to do, attending church on Sunday in some form, somewhere, at some time, must be a priority.

If I don't make it the top part of my list, and miss a week or two, it will be like that snowball I'm always talking about, and I might lose that cornerstone of my life. Even if I'm in the middle of a paper that is due at midnight on a Sunday, I must go to Mass at Muller at 9, it's that important. That foundation of Sunday mass helps me through the busy times, because I know I can still pray to God at any time, which is where the idea of being positive about those busy days comes in. It's easy to dread a tough day, but by letting God shape those activities, and realize that it's part of his plan, you might get something out of it. Dare I say, it will be refreshing to know that you got so much done in just 24 hours...


Twenty minutes of looking at a reading or glancing at a prayer book in between all that stuff during the week won't hurt either...I'm sure it is more worthwhile than checking Facebook and your email and your Twitter and your cell phone 20 different times in that same time span.

Keep in mind that what you'll need tomorrow is important, but what you'll really need in the long run is a close relationship with God. Everything has its own place, but your faith should always be in first. That will take you down the path of an enriched life.

From Eating Fish to Making Fruit

Well it's Week 3 of Lent...how's it going? Think on that for a second...Now in the constant effort to not eat meat on Fridays, I've now taste-tested fish at McDonald's, Wendy's and Burger King, which I guess is getting the job done. I prefer Wendy's in case you were wondering or even care. But let's get to what really matters...other than the material things like giving something up, how is your soul doing? Now is not the time to forget Jesus' words on Ash Wednesday.

The Gospel on that day was from Mt 6:1-6, 16-18, and Jesus spoke about giving alms and expecting nothing in return, while not making a big deal to others about fasting or praying. It's not time to slip in those categories. That should all be a big deal, but it needs to be between you and God. Sometimes you may feel like you need to try and get that attention to please God, but it is much better to spread God's words through your everyday actions and good deeds, instead of telling people you are praying, or neglecting your appearance because you are fasting.

If you go into your room and lock the door like Jesus said God still sees you praying, He is still there. This week's reading from Exodus talks about Moses and the Burning Bush. Have you had any moments like that in your life lately? It's kind of like a Transfiguration moment, and God is telling and showing you what to do in the form of signs and your own conscience. That's what Moses saw, and what he felt, and was moved with faith. It's that moment when something hits you, and you are positive that you need to make a change. Or a conversation where the person you are talking to says something that simply makes sense to you, and that you can apply to your own situation. Even a song lyric can do it...usually Michael Jackson for myself I must admit. Don't shy away from stuff like that, it's often God in disguise.

One sentence in that passage really struck me..."Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God."

At this point in not only Lent, but even your life, you may be afraid of facing God. Moses was one of the best guys of all time, even featured in the Transfiguration, yet he could not look at the Father. Much like him, you may have some guilt or even be ashamed about a decision you made. It can be scary to think about how that looks to God.

The thing is, God still loves us. He wants us to look at Him, to feel that forgiveness and hope that comes with being a Christian. As Father Carsten said in his homily last night, suffering is a part of life, and we are human, so we are sinners as well. Our everyday struggles are a part of life too. You have to deal with it at some point. You have to stand up and look God in the eye. Having faith in Him gives us that hope that everything will be alright.

Luke's Gospel has an interesting little story this week that can serve as an example of that hope. Jesus tells it..."There once was a person who had a fig tree planted in his orchard, and when he came in search of fruit on it but found none, he said to the gardener, ‘For three years now I have come in search of fruit on this fig tree but have found none. So cut it down. Why should it exhaust the soil?’ He said to him in reply, ‘Sir, leave it for this year also, and I shall cultivate the ground around it and fertilize it; it may bear fruit in the future. If not you can cut it down."

Ever feel like that fig tree, kind of sticking out in the field, nothing really going right? The person with the fig tree didn't give up on it though. It's like the time after your moment of realization like Moses'. First, you are scared, next, you feel guilty, then you have to find a way to move on. That's the most important time, the time to cultivate and grow. It's nice when one thing can go right, like getting a job, rebuilding an old friendship, or getting a free pizza for dinner, which can tip the scales and make one thing after another go right. Before that moment, it was the complete opposite, everything felt like it was going wrong, right? But God doesn't want that terrible cycle to continue. It won't. He wants us to be happy, and then grow and learn from those little experiences, and get things rolling in the right direction to make a better person in the end. We need to work at it though, because we need to put into action the tools or gifts that God gives us...which is the fertilizer. With that we have the ability to make the fruit. And you know what, realistically, if we don't work at it, we will get cut down, and not be nearly as happy or as good at making others happy as we can be.

All in all, we can't forget about our goals at the beginning of Lent. People don't need to know about your own relationship with God, cultivate it yourself. That fig tree was different, but so are we. We just need to recognize that we are wrong sometimes, which can be linked to our own suffering. And if we don't see it ourselves, much like Moses, we might get a Burning Bush or two sent from God along the way. If we take that sign from God and do the work, goodness really will spread like fire.

Putting the Pieces Together

Our lives are like one giant puzzle. Little and big moments fit together to determine the people we truly are. Each and every one of those moments is important. You get better from the bad ones, and thrive with the good ones. Some are much bigger than others, which obviously have the biggest effect on our makeup.

In mass at Muller Chapel on Sunday, minister Lee Imbriano said these times are our "Transfiguration" moments. The Gospel this week speaks of Jesus being Transfigured on the mountain while accompanied by apostles Peter, James and John.

It's hard to leave when your internal happiness in a moment like that is at a maximum. It might be something as small as getting an A in the hardest course. Or simply meeting a friend or family member for dinner. Or receiving the Body and Blood of Christ. Or talking to a long lost acquaintance. Or meeting someone new. Or falling in love and getting married just like Lee mentioned.

He also spoke about his family reunion this past weekend, and the feeling of possibly saying goodbye to one of his 88 year old relatives for the last time. Think about that. What would you say? What would you be thinking? That moment was a big puzzle piece in his life, and hers. With all of the emotion involved, their eye contact in that last moment may have been a glimpse of heaven.

Why can't we take something like that into our own lives? If you walked around for one full day, knowing it would be your last, knowing that you would never see anyone again, how would you act? We need to live this way. Appreciate that brief moment of conversation between yourself and a friend. Who knows, not to be negative, but it really might be your last. Living that way, it would make everyone appreciate everything a lot more.

Something that strikes me as important about all of this is that everyone takes their different "Transfiguration" moments for granted. If you put a value on everything that you do, it makes life mean something. Those life changing moments are nothing to just dismiss, even Jesus hung out with Moses and Elijah for a little while.

That brings us back to the question I addressed earlier of not wanting to leave. Peter didn't want to walk away from all those great people. But remember, those moments are just glimpses of heaven. We are still on earth, our feet brought to the ground by good old gravity. Heaven is the dream and the hope we have, earth is the reality. By seeing those glimpses throughout our life, we have something to strive towards, and to make those good moments a big piece of who we are, while cherishing them at the same time.

Another aspect of the Transfiguration is God's actual voice saying "This is my chosen Son; listen to Him." His voice is actually heard twice in the readings this week. He speaks to Abram about their covenant in the first reading.

This actual sound of God is tough for a lot of people. They ask, "Why can't I hear the sound of God's voice like they did back then?" Honestly, I ask the same thing sometimes, but God is creative. He shows us what is best through nature, through conversations, through our own thoughts, and through those "Transfiguration" moments. Often, the good feeling that swells inside of us is God saying that being in that place and time is right.

Other times, we are making too much noise to let Him say anything at all. That's why, especially during Lent, we need to spend a couple minutes of quiet time everyday. No TV, no Ipod, no constant texting. Maybe then we'll be able to hear God's voice in our hearts.

It's not easy to appreciate every aspect of life, or live our days like it's our last, or shut off a cell phone, but we are still on earth. Let those moments of pure happiness and those glimpses of heaven transform our thoughts, so that we can move towards eternal happiness. That will only happen if we listen to God's voice in those different ways, and let him put the puzzle of our life together. Don't run away from it, embrace it. He knows what is best. From what I hear, He is quite the expert.

Any questions or comments feel free to send me an email...teschen1@ithaca.edu.

What's the Difference?

Each one of us is different. We have different histories, mindsets, thought processes, interests, and looks. I might have blue eyes, while you have brown. Your hair might be dirty blonde, mine is brown. I might be not so good looking, you might be the best looking person around. Everyone knows this is so, correct? The one problem that many of us have is accepting those differences. Temptation to judge others comes from that inability to accept.

This struck me while watching and reading recent Olympics coverage. If you do not know, the Winter Olympics are currently being held in Vancouver, Canada.

Here is a link to some NBC's late night coverage featuring Stephen Colbert. Copy and paste it to the top of your web page to get there. You may have to download an application for it as well.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/assetid=3f28aedd-76c9-457f-abe6-68e0646a20e5.html

If it didn't work, the feature basically shows Colbert making fun of Canadians, saying they are quote "uninsultable," all while wearing a red and black Canadian Mountie uniform...he is mocking the country.

After watching that, read this article by Rick Reilly...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=reilly_rick&id=4906756

These are two of the most beloved personalities in the media today. I don't mind listening or laughing with either, but if you really look at these examples, how would you feel if someone made fun of your way of life? I'm kind of disappointed in both.

I'm all for playful ribbing every once in awhile, but never at the expense of my customs or traditions. I love America, but these two examples are demeaning to the entire country of Canada, and three fourths of the audience will miss that. It's another way of saying the US is better than everyone else. It's not. Other countries have a lot to offer, and you would be fascinated with the way some places operate. That's what makes the Olympics special, you can get a brief taste of how different people of different origins act in one place. Let's accept that and let it grow to every day of the year.

We as a people need to accept that other cultures are different than ours, and then break that down to our individual interactions every day. Someone might be different than you, but that doesn't mean their way of life is wrong, or that yours is right. It's just the way it is. Only God knows the right way to live, and the only person to completely live the right way to this point in time was really just His Son, Jesus.

A lot of people have it worse than you and me, so that doesn't mean we should rub it in their face and make fun of them for that. Why not help them? Why not become friends with that one person who rubbed you the wrong way just because of what they believed? The may be more like you than you think.

Some people might not like my hair, or the way I wear my jeans, or the way I practice my beliefs in my everyday life, but that doesn't mean they have to ignore me, or that I have to ignore them. It is a challenge, we all know this, but everyone lives their lives much differently from one another. It would be pretty boring if everyone did the same thing.

Picture yourself in some kind of social setting. Jokes and laughs are always plentiful...by all means have a fun time. Can't it get nasty sometimes though, maybe even offensive? Having fun at the expense of others is fun for everyone...except the person being offended. It might not seem like that big of a deal, and most of the time it's not. Those targeted may be feeling a touch of hurt deep down though.

For example, I get made fun of quite a bit...and somehow have earned the nickname "Grandpa". Nothing wrong with that. Grandpas are great. I could be called much worse things. If someone were to ever seclude me or keep me out of their group because of that though, that's a different story. It hasn't happened in my case, but all of the time good individuals are ostricized in their own group of friends just because they are different.

It's tempting to join in isn't it? We've all given in. If you want to look at the right way to do it, just look at this week's Gospel. Jesus is tempted three times by the devil, and never wavers. Try to be like Jesus and not even flinch. Recognize when the temptation is there. It's when something shouldn't feel quite right in your mind. Putting yourself out there when it's not exactly the most popular thing to do is truly living the way Jesus wanted us to live. His entire public work was based on that, and don't be worried about secluding yourself and losing friends. Look at Jesus, he had quite the following of apostles and disciples.

Most importantly, look inside yourself. This past weekend, I was in my home parish, St. James Church. Father Peter Worn spoke about us recognizing that we do need help. If we are arrogant, cocky, or overconfident about our ability to stand up to temptation, we won't do very well. We need God. He helps us stand up to anything that tempts us, and we need to recognize that he makes us that strong. We can't do it by ourselves.

Keep walking with God in this first full week of Lent. We aren't perfect, but by realizing our own weaknesses we will be able to appreciate everything that is different from our own way of living. God is always there, and will be with us through any of the bad temptations that breed from those differences. Do what makes you the happiest, but not at the expense of people you don't know quite enough about. Jesus stood up to all temptation, and He was a human just like us.

So, why can't we do it too?

Primetime

This week we will welcome Lent, the holiest time of year. Are you ready? You don't really have to be...yet. Starting on Ash Wednesday, your next forty days and forty nights should be different than your last forty days and forty nights. Hopefully, over this time period, we will all change for the better and for good.

That's the thing about Lent. Often, people do what they can for forty days...and then go right back to their normal everyday lives. We can't just forget Lent on Easter morning. That's what makes Easter one of the highlights of the Church year. It's a good feeling on that day to know Jesus rose from the dead, isn't it? But we need every day of Lent to build up to Easter, and then remember that for the rest of the year.

So, thinking about how to properly do that...I remembered a piece of a homily that was given maybe a ten to fifteen years ago in my old church, St. Matthews in East Syracuse, NY. Monsignor Lavin, God rest his soul, was known for his repetition of words, and after all these years I remember one of his homilies distinctly. After all these years it's pretty impressive on both of our parts I must say. But anyways on that day he spoke about the little things in life, and I remember these words well...

"It's like a snowball...a snowball. Rolling down the mountain..."

You may not know, but all 50 states had some kind of snow sitting on the grass somewhere in the state a few days ago. I'm not trying to make any political global warming/climate change statements, but this reference should be pretty universal at this point in time. Anyways, a snowball gets bigger and bigger and moves faster and faster as it travels down the mountain....

...which translates to something that could be either really good, or something not so good. It is all based on the decisions you make in your life. Bad decisions can grow inside of people, and once they make one, it becomes a lot easier to justify and make another. This is how people's lives spiral out of control, and the only way of stopping that is either doing it themselves or getting hurt and hitting a brick wall. Kind of like the whole idea of what goes around comes around, but that's for another blog at another time. If you are trapped like that, what better time than Lent to make that one good decision that will turn your life around?

Many people are in that situation, where they simply can't get out of the rut they are in. They look for anything to justify what they are doing. But, other signs from God should tell them that they need to get out of that rut. I'm here to take a shot at translating those signs.

One slogan that puts decision making in a nut shell is: Sometimes you have to do something you don't want to do. I don't really know if I saw it on a bumper sticker, or if it just came to me through divine intervention, but it's stuck close to me in my life these past few years. Keep that in mind...

Rocky Balboa says, "Life ain't all sunshine and rainbows," which it's not. To come as close to being happy as possible, you have to make those little decisions that you really don't want to make. If your snowball isn't looking too good at this point, it might be time to make a decision that you don't really want to. You might not want to sign up for a certain tough course, or tell your family a difficult confession, or even eat a salad instead of a jelly donut. I'm sure everyone has or will have a situation like this facing them, and often the toughest decision to make is the right one. We rely on God to tell us whether or not it is right. If it is, life will turn around, if it's not, He will send us signs telling us to go in a different direction. Rest easy...we have more than one chance, as Jesus says to "...forgive seven times seventy..." That's a reassuring and relaxing thought.

That hope of having your life go in the best direction is right in front of you. God ensures you that it is never gone. Sometimes, one small, good decision can make a huge impact on the rest of your week, month, year, and even your life. It might be going to church more than once during the week, or choosing to call an old friend. I'm sure its happened before, but we tend not to think about as it is happening. Goodness is contagious, and by making one good decision, it's a lot easier to make another one, and then another one. It doesn't hurt that it puts you in the good Graces of God either. That's the snowball you are looking for.

To reference another movie, "Evan Almighty" actually has a pretty solid message throughout the film. It's a modern day story of Noah's Ark, and God, played by Morgan Freeman, reassures Noah(Steve Carell) that one simple act of random kindness at a time can change the world. Why not start that on Ash Wednesday? See someone walking and walk with them, or if you are driving give them a lift to their destination. Have an eye for human suffering and address it by talking to those who are hurting. Hold the door open, even if it means you are awkwardly standing there for more than two seconds. Compliments aren't bad either. I love it when people say, "Nice sweater." Well, in that instance, they may be making fun of me, but I'll take it as a compliment. Regardless, all of that means something. After forty days, those acts will be plentiful, and the surplus will spill over to everyone in the community around you. It will also spill over beyond Easter. The entire planet may not be changing, but by doing that in your own world you are starting somewhere.

So, set a precedent for yourself this Lent. Don't give just an hour a week to God, give two or three. Get involved in your Catholic Community. Everyone is busy, but you can't be too busy for God. He is never too busy for you. Kind of makes you think doesn't it? Maybe I'll touch on this again after Easter, but like I say above, one of the most important parts of Lent is to carry what you've built beyond that forty days, and to the rest of the days of your life as well.

And by thinking every day of how to make good decisions through small random acts of kindness, your good snowball may just turn into an avalanche.