I'm back for my final semester here at Ithaca College and at the Ithaca College Catholic Community. So, I hope you enjoy these last few months of blogs, I'll do my best to keep them insightful and interesting...here it goes....
Imagine yourself in the prime of your career, really bringing home the bacon. Put yourself in the position of a teacher, and as you mold young minds, you see a man with a beard outside the classroom door...he beckons you to speak with him outside. He says, "Come with me, I'll make you a fisher of men."
Now, this is what I would be thinking...How did this person get into the building...the only thing I've ever fished for is fish...and how would the man expect me to leave my class in the middle of an important math lesson?
Yet, in this week's Gospel, Jesus is that man in the hallway. He calls out to Simon and Andrew while they were fishing and they respond by dropping their nets and going with Him. That's an extraordinary act of faith. I know it was a different time, with different priorities and needs in everyday life, but we can still learn something from this story.
It's another example of taking time out to recognize why we are here on earth. While we can't put our job and income last on our list of priorities, we can still rearrange some of the stuff that we "care" so much about in our daily lives. Schedules seem so jam packed all the time, but if we make it a priority, there is time for God to come through in our lives, after all, shouldn't He be our number one priority?
But there's many ways to do that. Fifteen or even just five minutes will not ruin your job, career, family, or life in general. Saying a prayer is usually a good way to clean up your day, but how about something else too. Make it an unplanned five minutes, and maybe randomly say hello to someone at a gas pump. What's more awkward anyways, standing there pretending to be invisible, or having a simple conversation about the cold weather with a total stranger? You might learn a little something not only about them, but about yourself as well. That's what God wants us to do, and that's probably what Jesus would do. By bringing those people into our lives, He is calling us away from our box for a little bit, from our rigid routines.
Catching fish is all about patience, which is vital for everyday life. By having the patience to take time out to follow God during out daily life, we'll be able to actually see the waters clear, and see the people underneath the sometimes harsh exteriors...like Jesus says, we can become "fishers of men."
It's an interesting thought, but for now, I'm going to take my tackle box and see what I can catch, maybe I'll even find a friend or two along the way.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Don't Give Up
It might seem like an ordinary basketball doubleheader, on an ordinary night. But on Tuesday evening, there was more at stake than a simple win or loss on a college basketball team's record. It was all a part of the Jimmy V classic on ESPN, inspired by Jim Valvano, who lost his life to cancer more than a decade ago. It's an annual occurrence in an effort to inspire people to give more to cancer research and the Jimmy V Foundation.
As the founder, Jimmy Valvano got the project started during ESPN's ESPY awards in 1993...17 years ago. He gave one of the most touching, inspiring speeches of all time. I encourage you to read the transcript on the bottom, or even watch it online. It may take about ten minutes, but that simple ten minutes may change your attitude on this day, and for days to come, as a dying man spoke about his spirit lasting forever....
Here's the video: http://www.jimmyv.org/remembering-jim/espy-awards-speech.html
Here's the transcript:
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Jim Valvano:
I can't tell you what an honor it is, to even be mentioned in the same breath with Arthur Ashe. This is something I certainly will treasure forever. But, as it was said on the tape, and I also don't have one of those things going with the cue cards, so I'm going to speak longer than anybody else has spoken tonight. That's the way it goes. Time is very precious to me. I don't know how much I have left and I have some things that I would like to say. Hopefully, at the end, I will have said something that will be important to other people too.
But, I can't help it. Now I'm fighting cancer, everybody knows that. People ask me all the time about how you go through your life and how's your day, and nothing is changed for me. As Dick said, I'm a very emotional and passionate man. I can't help it. That's being the son of Rocco and Angelina Valvano. It comes with the territory. We hug, we kiss, we love. When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it's the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.
I rode on the plane up today with Mike Krzyzewski, my good friend and wonderful coach. People don't realize he's ten times a better person than he is a coach, and we know he's a great coach. He's meant a lot to me in these last five or six months with my battle. But when I look at Mike, I think, we competed against each other as players. I coached against him for fifteen years, and I always have to think about what's important in life to me are these three things. Where you started, where you are and where you're going to be. Those are the three things that I try to do every day. When I think about getting up and giving a speech, I can't help it. I have to remember the first speech I ever gave.
I was coaching at Rutgers University, that was my first job, oh that's wonderful (reaction to applause), and I was the freshman coach. That's when freshmen played on freshman teams, and I was so fired up about my first job. I see Lou Holtz here. Coach Holtz, who doesn't like the very first job you had? The very first time you stood in the locker room to give a pep talk. That's a special place, the locker room, for a coach to give a talk. So my idol as a coach was Vince Lombardi, and I read this book called "Commitment To Excellence" by Vince Lombardi. And in the book, Lombardi talked about the fist time he spoke before his Green Bay Packers team in the locker room, and they were perennial losers. I'm reading this and Lombardi said he was thinking should it be a long talk, or a short talk? But he wanted it to be emotional, so it would be brief. So here's what I did. Normally you get in the locker room, I don't know, twenty-five minutes, a half hour before the team takes the field, you do your little x and o's, and then you give the great Knute Rockne talk. We all do. Speech number eight-four. You pull them right out, you get ready. You get your squad ready. Well, this is the first one I ever gave and I read this thing. Lombardi, what he said was he didn't go in, he waited. His team wondering, where is he? Where is this great coach? He's not there. Ten minutes he's still not there. Three minutes before they could take the field Lombardi comes in, bangs the door open, and I think you all remember what great presence he had, great presence. He walked in and he walked back and forth, like this, just walked, staring at the players. He said, "All eyes on me." I'm reading this in this book. I'm getting this picture of Lombardi before his first game and he said "Gentlemen, we will be successful this year, if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers." They knocked the walls down and the rest was history. I said, that's beautiful. I'm going to do that. Your family, your religion and Rutgers basketball. That's it. I had it. Listen, I'm twenty-one years old. The kids I'm coaching are nineteen, and I'm going to be the greatest coach in the world, the next Lombardi. I'm practicing outside of the locker room and the managers tell me you got to go in. Not yet, not yet, family, religion, Rutgers Basketball. All eyes on me. I got it, I got it. Then finally he said, three minutes, I said fine. True story. I go to knock the doors open just like Lombardi. Boom! They don't open. I almost broke my arm. Now I was down, the players were looking. Help the coach out, help him out. Now I did like Lombardi, I walked back and forth, and I was going like that with my arm getting the feeling back in it. Finally I said, "Gentlemen, all eyes on me." These kids wanted to play, they're nineteen. "Let's go," I said. "Gentlemen, we'll be successful this year if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers," I told them. I did that. I remember that. I remember where I came from.
It's so important to know where you are. I know where I am right now. How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. You have to be willing to work for it.
I talked about my family, my family's so important. People think I have courage. The courage in my family are my wife Pam, my three daughters, here, Nicole, Jamie, LeeAnn, my mom, who's right here too. That screen is flashing up there thirty seconds like I care about that screen right now, huh? I got tumors all over my body. I'm worried about some guy in the back going thirty seconds? You got a lot, hey va fa napoli, buddy. You got a lot.
I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you're emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm," to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality.
Now I look at where I am now and I know what I want to do. What I would like to be able to do is spend whatever time I have left and to give, and maybe, some hope to others. Arthur Ashe Foundation is a wonderful thing, and AIDS, the amount of money pouring in for AIDS is not enough, but is significant. But if I told you it's ten times the amount that goes in for cancer research. I also told you that five hundred thousand people will die this year of cancer. I also tell you that one in every four will be afflicted with this disease, and yet somehow, we seem to have put it in a little bit of the background. I want to bring it back on the front table. We need your help. I need your help. We need money for research. It may not save my life. It may save my children's lives. It may save someone you love. And ESPN has been so kind to support me in this endeavor and allow me to announce tonight, that with ESPN's support, which means what? Their money and their dollars and they're helping me-we are starting the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. And it's motto is "Don't give up, don't ever give up." That's what I'm going to try to do every minute that I have left. I will thank God for the day and the moment I have. If you see me, smile and give me a hug. That's important to me too. But try if you can to support, whether it's AIDS or the cancer foundation, so that someone else might survive, might prosper and might actually be cured of this dreaded disease. I can't thank ESPN enough for allowing this to happen. I'm going to work as hard as I can for cancer research and hopefully, maybe, we'll have some cures and some breakthroughs. I'd like to think, I'm going to fight my brains out to be back here again next year for the Arthur Ashe recipient. I want to give it next year!
I know, I gotta go, I gotta go, and I got one last thing and I said it before, and I want to say it again. Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.
I thank you and God bless you all.
As the founder, Jimmy Valvano got the project started during ESPN's ESPY awards in 1993...17 years ago. He gave one of the most touching, inspiring speeches of all time. I encourage you to read the transcript on the bottom, or even watch it online. It may take about ten minutes, but that simple ten minutes may change your attitude on this day, and for days to come, as a dying man spoke about his spirit lasting forever....
Here's the video: http://www.jimmyv.org/remembering-jim/espy-awards-speech.html
Here's the transcript:
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Jim Valvano:
I can't tell you what an honor it is, to even be mentioned in the same breath with Arthur Ashe. This is something I certainly will treasure forever. But, as it was said on the tape, and I also don't have one of those things going with the cue cards, so I'm going to speak longer than anybody else has spoken tonight. That's the way it goes. Time is very precious to me. I don't know how much I have left and I have some things that I would like to say. Hopefully, at the end, I will have said something that will be important to other people too.
But, I can't help it. Now I'm fighting cancer, everybody knows that. People ask me all the time about how you go through your life and how's your day, and nothing is changed for me. As Dick said, I'm a very emotional and passionate man. I can't help it. That's being the son of Rocco and Angelina Valvano. It comes with the territory. We hug, we kiss, we love. When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it's the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.
I rode on the plane up today with Mike Krzyzewski, my good friend and wonderful coach. People don't realize he's ten times a better person than he is a coach, and we know he's a great coach. He's meant a lot to me in these last five or six months with my battle. But when I look at Mike, I think, we competed against each other as players. I coached against him for fifteen years, and I always have to think about what's important in life to me are these three things. Where you started, where you are and where you're going to be. Those are the three things that I try to do every day. When I think about getting up and giving a speech, I can't help it. I have to remember the first speech I ever gave.
I was coaching at Rutgers University, that was my first job, oh that's wonderful (reaction to applause), and I was the freshman coach. That's when freshmen played on freshman teams, and I was so fired up about my first job. I see Lou Holtz here. Coach Holtz, who doesn't like the very first job you had? The very first time you stood in the locker room to give a pep talk. That's a special place, the locker room, for a coach to give a talk. So my idol as a coach was Vince Lombardi, and I read this book called "Commitment To Excellence" by Vince Lombardi. And in the book, Lombardi talked about the fist time he spoke before his Green Bay Packers team in the locker room, and they were perennial losers. I'm reading this and Lombardi said he was thinking should it be a long talk, or a short talk? But he wanted it to be emotional, so it would be brief. So here's what I did. Normally you get in the locker room, I don't know, twenty-five minutes, a half hour before the team takes the field, you do your little x and o's, and then you give the great Knute Rockne talk. We all do. Speech number eight-four. You pull them right out, you get ready. You get your squad ready. Well, this is the first one I ever gave and I read this thing. Lombardi, what he said was he didn't go in, he waited. His team wondering, where is he? Where is this great coach? He's not there. Ten minutes he's still not there. Three minutes before they could take the field Lombardi comes in, bangs the door open, and I think you all remember what great presence he had, great presence. He walked in and he walked back and forth, like this, just walked, staring at the players. He said, "All eyes on me." I'm reading this in this book. I'm getting this picture of Lombardi before his first game and he said "Gentlemen, we will be successful this year, if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers." They knocked the walls down and the rest was history. I said, that's beautiful. I'm going to do that. Your family, your religion and Rutgers basketball. That's it. I had it. Listen, I'm twenty-one years old. The kids I'm coaching are nineteen, and I'm going to be the greatest coach in the world, the next Lombardi. I'm practicing outside of the locker room and the managers tell me you got to go in. Not yet, not yet, family, religion, Rutgers Basketball. All eyes on me. I got it, I got it. Then finally he said, three minutes, I said fine. True story. I go to knock the doors open just like Lombardi. Boom! They don't open. I almost broke my arm. Now I was down, the players were looking. Help the coach out, help him out. Now I did like Lombardi, I walked back and forth, and I was going like that with my arm getting the feeling back in it. Finally I said, "Gentlemen, all eyes on me." These kids wanted to play, they're nineteen. "Let's go," I said. "Gentlemen, we'll be successful this year if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers," I told them. I did that. I remember that. I remember where I came from.
It's so important to know where you are. I know where I am right now. How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. You have to be willing to work for it.
I talked about my family, my family's so important. People think I have courage. The courage in my family are my wife Pam, my three daughters, here, Nicole, Jamie, LeeAnn, my mom, who's right here too. That screen is flashing up there thirty seconds like I care about that screen right now, huh? I got tumors all over my body. I'm worried about some guy in the back going thirty seconds? You got a lot, hey va fa napoli, buddy. You got a lot.
I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you're emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm," to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality.
Now I look at where I am now and I know what I want to do. What I would like to be able to do is spend whatever time I have left and to give, and maybe, some hope to others. Arthur Ashe Foundation is a wonderful thing, and AIDS, the amount of money pouring in for AIDS is not enough, but is significant. But if I told you it's ten times the amount that goes in for cancer research. I also told you that five hundred thousand people will die this year of cancer. I also tell you that one in every four will be afflicted with this disease, and yet somehow, we seem to have put it in a little bit of the background. I want to bring it back on the front table. We need your help. I need your help. We need money for research. It may not save my life. It may save my children's lives. It may save someone you love. And ESPN has been so kind to support me in this endeavor and allow me to announce tonight, that with ESPN's support, which means what? Their money and their dollars and they're helping me-we are starting the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. And it's motto is "Don't give up, don't ever give up." That's what I'm going to try to do every minute that I have left. I will thank God for the day and the moment I have. If you see me, smile and give me a hug. That's important to me too. But try if you can to support, whether it's AIDS or the cancer foundation, so that someone else might survive, might prosper and might actually be cured of this dreaded disease. I can't thank ESPN enough for allowing this to happen. I'm going to work as hard as I can for cancer research and hopefully, maybe, we'll have some cures and some breakthroughs. I'd like to think, I'm going to fight my brains out to be back here again next year for the Arthur Ashe recipient. I want to give it next year!
I know, I gotta go, I gotta go, and I got one last thing and I said it before, and I want to say it again. Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.
I thank you and God bless you all.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Something Is Coming
In case you are wondering, Advent started this past weekend. As a kid, it felt like the longest four weeks of the year, just waiting, waiting, waiting, for December 25th to come around. I'm not going to lie, the presents were pretty cool, which is probably a typical reason to really want Christmas to come around. There was always that reminder though, that it means something more. I had the advantage of attending Catholic school, so the fact that Jesus was the real gift was constantly instilled in my life.
You look at the shopping craze, the way some people just lament the holidays, and all of the stress that accompanies the season. It's easy to say all hope is lost for the real reason of the season. I beg to differ. Instead of turning to the malls to find some real Christmas spirit, I've found that the television has the best semblance of a reminder of why we celebrate this holiday.
The values often expressed in various Christmas specials parallel how Jesus wants us to act. Sure, claymation isn't for everybody, but there is an underlying message that is has some good in it, and it battles those feelings of greed and selfishness that corrupt today's society. Even Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang gets in the act, with Linus actually telling the Christmas story at the end.
It's easy to stress yourself out over these next four weeks, but maybe, if you just put on the television, something may change deep inside you, as you watch a drawing talk about the real meaning of Christmas. There is no reason to fall into the trap of critisizing people for becoming too involved in the gift getting, because there is hope.
Let's build on that hope in our own lives, and maybe that will make everyone around us a little bit more cheerful as well.
You look at the shopping craze, the way some people just lament the holidays, and all of the stress that accompanies the season. It's easy to say all hope is lost for the real reason of the season. I beg to differ. Instead of turning to the malls to find some real Christmas spirit, I've found that the television has the best semblance of a reminder of why we celebrate this holiday.
The values often expressed in various Christmas specials parallel how Jesus wants us to act. Sure, claymation isn't for everybody, but there is an underlying message that is has some good in it, and it battles those feelings of greed and selfishness that corrupt today's society. Even Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang gets in the act, with Linus actually telling the Christmas story at the end.
It's easy to stress yourself out over these next four weeks, but maybe, if you just put on the television, something may change deep inside you, as you watch a drawing talk about the real meaning of Christmas. There is no reason to fall into the trap of critisizing people for becoming too involved in the gift getting, because there is hope.
Let's build on that hope in our own lives, and maybe that will make everyone around us a little bit more cheerful as well.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Giving Thanks the Hard Way
In just about a week, Turkey's will be carved, gravy will be poured, stuffing will be stuffed, and backyards will be filled with brothers and sisters fighting for every inch on the makeshift football fields. It's going to be Thanksgiving. A holiday devoted to a lot of eating and sleeping. Other than that fact, it should be like any other day, as simply saying the word "thanks" should be a regular occurrence...but is it?
It's easy to have a door opened for you and you respond with a thank you. Like I always talk about, it helps build the community around us. Obviously though, really really giving thanks is something deeper. Some of us are given quite a bit in life, some of us aren't. Some of us earn a lot in life, some of us don't. Being thankful for the things we earn is important, as the gifts that God gave us become evident. Without those skills, we would have no chance at earning anything. We need to be thankful for that.
Another aspect of appreciating what we have is actually criticism. How else do we get better? If someone takes the time, to be constructive and let us know when we are in the wrong, that is indeed a blessing from God. If it comes out in an extremely negative way, we need to consider the source, pray for them, and maybe try to take something good out of what they say. It's hard to pray for those who are mean to us, let alone be thankful for those people. Yet, there is some good in everybody, believe it or not.
A lot of times, different arguments can come from seeing family again, which is completely natural. Often those arguments can arise out of sheer nothingness, and may be hiding other frustrations. We need to remember though, not only the reason for the holiday, but the reason we are on this earth to begin with. We need to be happy to be around other people. That's the beauty of being here, learning about other people. That's when life can be the most interesting, when you learn about more and more people, who are different in every way. That makes it fun.
So, let's be thankful for everyone around us, not matter if they are our best friend or our worst enemy. We probably wouldn't be who we are without them, so let's celebrate it, why not? Happy Thanksgiving.
It's easy to have a door opened for you and you respond with a thank you. Like I always talk about, it helps build the community around us. Obviously though, really really giving thanks is something deeper. Some of us are given quite a bit in life, some of us aren't. Some of us earn a lot in life, some of us don't. Being thankful for the things we earn is important, as the gifts that God gave us become evident. Without those skills, we would have no chance at earning anything. We need to be thankful for that.
Another aspect of appreciating what we have is actually criticism. How else do we get better? If someone takes the time, to be constructive and let us know when we are in the wrong, that is indeed a blessing from God. If it comes out in an extremely negative way, we need to consider the source, pray for them, and maybe try to take something good out of what they say. It's hard to pray for those who are mean to us, let alone be thankful for those people. Yet, there is some good in everybody, believe it or not.
A lot of times, different arguments can come from seeing family again, which is completely natural. Often those arguments can arise out of sheer nothingness, and may be hiding other frustrations. We need to remember though, not only the reason for the holiday, but the reason we are on this earth to begin with. We need to be happy to be around other people. That's the beauty of being here, learning about other people. That's when life can be the most interesting, when you learn about more and more people, who are different in every way. That makes it fun.
So, let's be thankful for everyone around us, not matter if they are our best friend or our worst enemy. We probably wouldn't be who we are without them, so let's celebrate it, why not? Happy Thanksgiving.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Just a Moment Ago
Our life is made up of moments, each one individual in its own right, but in some way, connected to all the others preceding it and following it. Now in these moments we become a different person in our reactions to whatever happens to us. They can be both positive and negative towards our growth in life.
Sometimes, these moments can stay with us for the rest of our lives, with us going back in the memory bank and using them as a guide or some type of motivation. Because we all live life for various reasons, with those motivations often coming in the form of mistakes in the past. Some people live a certain way for that very reason, to right some kind of wrong that happened in their lives.
I bring this up, because it actually relates to the football field. As I write these words now, I have one day left in my entire football/organized sport playing career. It's a fascinating feeling. I'm a much different person now than I was back on the first day of Freshman year. My motivations for playing the game have changed as well.
My first two years, I played the game based on something that happened in my past days of playing football. Something negative that happened in a game, which motivated me to work harder than I ever had before, just to make sure I righted that wrong in my life, and that success would be what I remembered from playing the sport, instead of bitter defeat.
Something changed after my sophomore year though, and once again it came in the midst of a devastating loss. Being upset in the playoffs will hurt anyone, and become the cause for motivation for anyone involved. This time though, I did not get anger out of this game, I got something more. I looked in the eyes of the guys who would never play the game again, and thought, isn't this a bit selfish of me, to simply go out and play the game just for myself? Sure, I can have that moment from high school in the back of my mind if I want, but I'd get a lot more out of it if I had someone else to be responsible for.
So, I changed. I thought of everyone on the team, and their backstory, and the way they worked out on the field, and their feelings, and saw something in myself change. I worked just as hard, but there was more of a love in doing so, in that if I did not work as hard as I could, I'd not only be letting myself down, but every single person on the team as well. Learning more about my teammates, I began to have more fun, and enjoy the game for what it was worth. Memories started to emerge, and feelings I did not know I had of this all fading away once my career ended. I mean, I'm going to miss these guys.
Yet, as I sit here in the moment, I realize that this is something I will look back on and smile throughout my life. And that this transformation within myself, from doing something just for myself, to doing it for my teammates as well, will serve me well in life.
Sure, in our everyday lives we must look out for ourselves. That's very important. But by looking out for others, loved ones, friends, family, but strangers too, it makes our lives much more worthwhile. There's a rush to feeling depended on, and responsible for not only our own success, but others as well. Life is too boring all on our own, we need to see the world through other people's eyes as well, because it is often so different than ours that we cannot look away. As we get to know more and more people, and what makes them happy, that makes life a lot more fun.
This moment is a special one, no matter what it is. So it's time to enjoy it, and let it be a memory that we use throughout our lives.
So, tomorrow ends my football career, but 20 years from now, I'll be talking with one of my ex-teammates about something that happened during the season, and at some point, someone will say, "That feels like so long ago."
I'll answer, "Nah, it was only a moment ago."
Sometimes, these moments can stay with us for the rest of our lives, with us going back in the memory bank and using them as a guide or some type of motivation. Because we all live life for various reasons, with those motivations often coming in the form of mistakes in the past. Some people live a certain way for that very reason, to right some kind of wrong that happened in their lives.
I bring this up, because it actually relates to the football field. As I write these words now, I have one day left in my entire football/organized sport playing career. It's a fascinating feeling. I'm a much different person now than I was back on the first day of Freshman year. My motivations for playing the game have changed as well.
My first two years, I played the game based on something that happened in my past days of playing football. Something negative that happened in a game, which motivated me to work harder than I ever had before, just to make sure I righted that wrong in my life, and that success would be what I remembered from playing the sport, instead of bitter defeat.
Something changed after my sophomore year though, and once again it came in the midst of a devastating loss. Being upset in the playoffs will hurt anyone, and become the cause for motivation for anyone involved. This time though, I did not get anger out of this game, I got something more. I looked in the eyes of the guys who would never play the game again, and thought, isn't this a bit selfish of me, to simply go out and play the game just for myself? Sure, I can have that moment from high school in the back of my mind if I want, but I'd get a lot more out of it if I had someone else to be responsible for.
So, I changed. I thought of everyone on the team, and their backstory, and the way they worked out on the field, and their feelings, and saw something in myself change. I worked just as hard, but there was more of a love in doing so, in that if I did not work as hard as I could, I'd not only be letting myself down, but every single person on the team as well. Learning more about my teammates, I began to have more fun, and enjoy the game for what it was worth. Memories started to emerge, and feelings I did not know I had of this all fading away once my career ended. I mean, I'm going to miss these guys.
Yet, as I sit here in the moment, I realize that this is something I will look back on and smile throughout my life. And that this transformation within myself, from doing something just for myself, to doing it for my teammates as well, will serve me well in life.
Sure, in our everyday lives we must look out for ourselves. That's very important. But by looking out for others, loved ones, friends, family, but strangers too, it makes our lives much more worthwhile. There's a rush to feeling depended on, and responsible for not only our own success, but others as well. Life is too boring all on our own, we need to see the world through other people's eyes as well, because it is often so different than ours that we cannot look away. As we get to know more and more people, and what makes them happy, that makes life a lot more fun.
This moment is a special one, no matter what it is. So it's time to enjoy it, and let it be a memory that we use throughout our lives.
So, tomorrow ends my football career, but 20 years from now, I'll be talking with one of my ex-teammates about something that happened during the season, and at some point, someone will say, "That feels like so long ago."
I'll answer, "Nah, it was only a moment ago."
Friday, November 5, 2010
I'll Be There
Different experiences obviously produce different emotions, and from that we learn in a different way. At this point of our lives, many of us have been around death and everything that comes with it at least once or twice. We know how it feels, and we all react according to our own emotions and beliefs.
It's the hardest part of life, just a glimpse of how precious life can be. Yet, there is a difference to the feeling you feel between a personal death, and a death you see on the news. Those are two completely different emotions. One is a strong feeling of personal sadness, the other is sadness for those surrounding them, which can, at times be just at strong considering the number of people affected. It's different.
I was put in the middle of this spectrum earlier this week. A friend of mine's sibling passed away suddenly, and myself and other friends went to see him at the wake. Now knowing the person who had died, I had never really done something like that before, other than being an altar server in elementary school at funerals. At that point I didn't really understand what went into this kind of thing.
When you are connected in some way, but not directly, it makes you think a little bit differently. I saw the face of my friend, different than ever before, and it tore me up inside. I saw the face of his mother, overwhelmed by the support. I saw the face of his father, still heartbroken. I saw my own friends, dopes just like myself, humbled by this experience. There were hugs that couldn't last long enough, handshakes that trembled yet still with a sense of firmness.
When a loved one dies, we have our own memories to live on during the hardest times. I had no memories of myself and the person who had passed, so these moments were what I lived by. My memories with my close friend started to filter through my brain, and the fact that his entire life would be different forever, and my relationship with him as well.
There is no right thing to say to anyone, as everyone reacts differently. Just being there though, is often more than enough.
And you know what, it's not fair. But it can't be changed. It's hard to appreciate people on a daily basis, even the people we love the most. At the end of the day though, it's not worth holding a grudge. You just never know. When it comes to family and close, trustworthy friends, it might be time to take a step back from the stupid little things and let it all go for the big picture. We are here just a brief moment in time, some of us a little longer, some of us a little shorter. What is the point of hating, complaining, nagging, and needing in the grand scheme of things?
After attending something like that, anyone that does not call their own family members and just saying "I love you" needs a reality check. Things don't always go our way. But that is one of the only things we can control, a simple phone call, or text message. I've thought about that wake everyday since I went on Monday, it's something I'll never forget.
It's not going to be easy for my friend, as we all know. It isn't easy for anyone. The only thing I can do, is be there for him, and live my own life without a regret, and never forget to keep the main thing the main thing in my mind.
It's the hardest part of life, just a glimpse of how precious life can be. Yet, there is a difference to the feeling you feel between a personal death, and a death you see on the news. Those are two completely different emotions. One is a strong feeling of personal sadness, the other is sadness for those surrounding them, which can, at times be just at strong considering the number of people affected. It's different.
I was put in the middle of this spectrum earlier this week. A friend of mine's sibling passed away suddenly, and myself and other friends went to see him at the wake. Now knowing the person who had died, I had never really done something like that before, other than being an altar server in elementary school at funerals. At that point I didn't really understand what went into this kind of thing.
When you are connected in some way, but not directly, it makes you think a little bit differently. I saw the face of my friend, different than ever before, and it tore me up inside. I saw the face of his mother, overwhelmed by the support. I saw the face of his father, still heartbroken. I saw my own friends, dopes just like myself, humbled by this experience. There were hugs that couldn't last long enough, handshakes that trembled yet still with a sense of firmness.
When a loved one dies, we have our own memories to live on during the hardest times. I had no memories of myself and the person who had passed, so these moments were what I lived by. My memories with my close friend started to filter through my brain, and the fact that his entire life would be different forever, and my relationship with him as well.
There is no right thing to say to anyone, as everyone reacts differently. Just being there though, is often more than enough.
And you know what, it's not fair. But it can't be changed. It's hard to appreciate people on a daily basis, even the people we love the most. At the end of the day though, it's not worth holding a grudge. You just never know. When it comes to family and close, trustworthy friends, it might be time to take a step back from the stupid little things and let it all go for the big picture. We are here just a brief moment in time, some of us a little longer, some of us a little shorter. What is the point of hating, complaining, nagging, and needing in the grand scheme of things?
After attending something like that, anyone that does not call their own family members and just saying "I love you" needs a reality check. Things don't always go our way. But that is one of the only things we can control, a simple phone call, or text message. I've thought about that wake everyday since I went on Monday, it's something I'll never forget.
It's not going to be easy for my friend, as we all know. It isn't easy for anyone. The only thing I can do, is be there for him, and live my own life without a regret, and never forget to keep the main thing the main thing in my mind.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I'm Going to Church
Just yesterday, October 19th, was the Feast Day of St. Isaac Jogues, John de Brebeuf, and Companions. They were Jesuit priests who were the first North American martyrs to be recognized by the Catholic Church. They died because they defended God, and stood up for their faith even in the toughest of circumstances...a life or death situation.
So now, if there was a gun to your head, and you were asked if you believe in God, what would you say? It's a startling question, hence the Feast Day and the honoring of those who have indeed answered yes by making them known as martyrs. It's an amazing test of faith, and obviously, not everyone has to undergo that kind of test over the course of their lifetime.
But, we are tested to a lesser degree all the time. Something as little as going to church on Sunday can be considered one of those tests of faith. Are you willing to leave a riveting NFL game with your friends at 1 or 9 o clock if you're on the Ithaca College campus on the weekend? What would you say to them as you leave? If not on the IC Campus, how about a beautiful Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning? It's tough to leave, but it's really just an hour.
Some people are scared to express their faith to others, or even admit they are faith. For people my age, it is natural, as it can be weird to be different from the people around us. Some people accept it, some don't. A simple statement like, "I'm going to church," can turn into a 10 minute long debate, or 20 questions, where friends are asking all those tough questions about the Catholic Church and Jesus etc. A lot of those questions start with the word: Why?
Often, there is no explanation other than simply: That's what I believe. Nothing else really needs to be said after that. That is usually the right answer to every question about your faith. You believe it, and you're confident about that, and will defend it.
Now, it's not necessary for all of us to go off gallivanting about our faith, saying that our way is the only way. God doesn't want that. Some people choose to spread the Catholic faith to other countries by being a missionary or something like that, which is what some people are called to do. For us though, the only thing we really have to do is be sure of our faith, even in the toughest of atmospheres. That way, it spreads simply in our daily actions with others around us.
No one is forcing us to believe in God, only our own inner strength keeps our faith alive. So, be proud of it. Be proud of going to church when others decide not to. We get better in that hour. We don't necessarily have to be martyrs, but we can do our best to stay confident with our faith, and not be afraid to spread it to others on a daily basis.
So now, if there was a gun to your head, and you were asked if you believe in God, what would you say? It's a startling question, hence the Feast Day and the honoring of those who have indeed answered yes by making them known as martyrs. It's an amazing test of faith, and obviously, not everyone has to undergo that kind of test over the course of their lifetime.
But, we are tested to a lesser degree all the time. Something as little as going to church on Sunday can be considered one of those tests of faith. Are you willing to leave a riveting NFL game with your friends at 1 or 9 o clock if you're on the Ithaca College campus on the weekend? What would you say to them as you leave? If not on the IC Campus, how about a beautiful Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning? It's tough to leave, but it's really just an hour.
Some people are scared to express their faith to others, or even admit they are faith. For people my age, it is natural, as it can be weird to be different from the people around us. Some people accept it, some don't. A simple statement like, "I'm going to church," can turn into a 10 minute long debate, or 20 questions, where friends are asking all those tough questions about the Catholic Church and Jesus etc. A lot of those questions start with the word: Why?
Often, there is no explanation other than simply: That's what I believe. Nothing else really needs to be said after that. That is usually the right answer to every question about your faith. You believe it, and you're confident about that, and will defend it.
Now, it's not necessary for all of us to go off gallivanting about our faith, saying that our way is the only way. God doesn't want that. Some people choose to spread the Catholic faith to other countries by being a missionary or something like that, which is what some people are called to do. For us though, the only thing we really have to do is be sure of our faith, even in the toughest of atmospheres. That way, it spreads simply in our daily actions with others around us.
No one is forcing us to believe in God, only our own inner strength keeps our faith alive. So, be proud of it. Be proud of going to church when others decide not to. We get better in that hour. We don't necessarily have to be martyrs, but we can do our best to stay confident with our faith, and not be afraid to spread it to others on a daily basis.
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