Something Is Coming

In case you are wondering, Advent started this past weekend. As a kid, it felt like the longest four weeks of the year, just waiting, waiting, waiting, for December 25th to come around. I'm not going to lie, the presents were pretty cool, which is probably a typical reason to really want Christmas to come around. There was always that reminder though, that it means something more. I had the advantage of attending Catholic school, so the fact that Jesus was the real gift was constantly instilled in my life.

You look at the shopping craze, the way some people just lament the holidays, and all of the stress that accompanies the season. It's easy to say all hope is lost for the real reason of the season. I beg to differ. Instead of turning to the malls to find some real Christmas spirit, I've found that the television has the best semblance of a reminder of why we celebrate this holiday.

The values often expressed in various Christmas specials parallel how Jesus wants us to act. Sure, claymation isn't for everybody, but there is an underlying message that is has some good in it, and it battles those feelings of greed and selfishness that corrupt today's society. Even Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang gets in the act, with Linus actually telling the Christmas story at the end.

It's easy to stress yourself out over these next four weeks, but maybe, if you just put on the television, something may change deep inside you, as you watch a drawing talk about the real meaning of Christmas. There is no reason to fall into the trap of critisizing people for becoming too involved in the gift getting, because there is hope.

Let's build on that hope in our own lives, and maybe that will make everyone around us a little bit more cheerful as well.

Giving Thanks the Hard Way

In just about a week, Turkey's will be carved, gravy will be poured, stuffing will be stuffed, and backyards will be filled with brothers and sisters fighting for every inch on the makeshift football fields. It's going to be Thanksgiving. A holiday devoted to a lot of eating and sleeping. Other than that fact, it should be like any other day, as simply saying the word "thanks" should be a regular occurrence...but is it?

It's easy to have a door opened for you and you respond with a thank you. Like I always talk about, it helps build the community around us. Obviously though, really really giving thanks is something deeper. Some of us are given quite a bit in life, some of us aren't. Some of us earn a lot in life, some of us don't. Being thankful for the things we earn is important, as the gifts that God gave us become evident. Without those skills, we would have no chance at earning anything. We need to be thankful for that.

Another aspect of appreciating what we have is actually criticism. How else do we get better? If someone takes the time, to be constructive and let us know when we are in the wrong, that is indeed a blessing from God. If it comes out in an extremely negative way, we need to consider the source, pray for them, and maybe try to take something good out of what they say. It's hard to pray for those who are mean to us, let alone be thankful for those people. Yet, there is some good in everybody, believe it or not.

A lot of times, different arguments can come from seeing family again, which is completely natural. Often those arguments can arise out of sheer nothingness, and may be hiding other frustrations. We need to remember though, not only the reason for the holiday, but the reason we are on this earth to begin with. We need to be happy to be around other people. That's the beauty of being here, learning about other people. That's when life can be the most interesting, when you learn about more and more people, who are different in every way. That makes it fun.

So, let's be thankful for everyone around us, not matter if they are our best friend or our worst enemy. We probably wouldn't be who we are without them, so let's celebrate it, why not? Happy Thanksgiving.

Just a Moment Ago

Our life is made up of moments, each one individual in its own right, but in some way, connected to all the others preceding it and following it. Now in these moments we become a different person in our reactions to whatever happens to us. They can be both positive and negative towards our growth in life.

Sometimes, these moments can stay with us for the rest of our lives, with us going back in the memory bank and using them as a guide or some type of motivation. Because we all live life for various reasons, with those motivations often coming in the form of mistakes in the past. Some people live a certain way for that very reason, to right some kind of wrong that happened in their lives.

I bring this up, because it actually relates to the football field. As I write these words now, I have one day left in my entire football/organized sport playing career. It's a fascinating feeling. I'm a much different person now than I was back on the first day of Freshman year. My motivations for playing the game have changed as well.

My first two years, I played the game based on something that happened in my past days of playing football. Something negative that happened in a game, which motivated me to work harder than I ever had before, just to make sure I righted that wrong in my life, and that success would be what I remembered from playing the sport, instead of bitter defeat.

Something changed after my sophomore year though, and once again it came in the midst of a devastating loss. Being upset in the playoffs will hurt anyone, and become the cause for motivation for anyone involved. This time though, I did not get anger out of this game, I got something more. I looked in the eyes of the guys who would never play the game again, and thought, isn't this a bit selfish of me, to simply go out and play the game just for myself? Sure, I can have that moment from high school in the back of my mind if I want, but I'd get a lot more out of it if I had someone else to be responsible for.

So, I changed. I thought of everyone on the team, and their backstory, and the way they worked out on the field, and their feelings, and saw something in myself change. I worked just as hard, but there was more of a love in doing so, in that if I did not work as hard as I could, I'd not only be letting myself down, but every single person on the team as well. Learning more about my teammates, I began to have more fun, and enjoy the game for what it was worth. Memories started to emerge, and feelings I did not know I had of this all fading away once my career ended. I mean, I'm going to miss these guys.

Yet, as I sit here in the moment, I realize that this is something I will look back on and smile throughout my life. And that this transformation within myself, from doing something just for myself, to doing it for my teammates as well, will serve me well in life.

Sure, in our everyday lives we must look out for ourselves. That's very important. But by looking out for others, loved ones, friends, family, but strangers too, it makes our lives much more worthwhile. There's a rush to feeling depended on, and responsible for not only our own success, but others as well. Life is too boring all on our own, we need to see the world through other people's eyes as well, because it is often so different than ours that we cannot look away. As we get to know more and more people, and what makes them happy, that makes life a lot more fun.

This moment is a special one, no matter what it is. So it's time to enjoy it, and let it be a memory that we use throughout our lives.

So, tomorrow ends my football career, but 20 years from now, I'll be talking with one of my ex-teammates about something that happened during the season, and at some point, someone will say, "That feels like so long ago."

I'll answer, "Nah, it was only a moment ago."

I'll Be There

Different experiences obviously produce different emotions, and from that we learn in a different way. At this point of our lives, many of us have been around death and everything that comes with it at least once or twice. We know how it feels, and we all react according to our own emotions and beliefs.

It's the hardest part of life, just a glimpse of how precious life can be. Yet, there is a difference to the feeling you feel between a personal death, and a death you see on the news. Those are two completely different emotions. One is a strong feeling of personal sadness, the other is sadness for those surrounding them, which can, at times be just at strong considering the number of people affected. It's different.

I was put in the middle of this spectrum earlier this week. A friend of mine's sibling passed away suddenly, and myself and other friends went to see him at the wake. Now knowing the person who had died, I had never really done something like that before, other than being an altar server in elementary school at funerals. At that point I didn't really understand what went into this kind of thing.

When you are connected in some way, but not directly, it makes you think a little bit differently. I saw the face of my friend, different than ever before, and it tore me up inside. I saw the face of his mother, overwhelmed by the support. I saw the face of his father, still heartbroken. I saw my own friends, dopes just like myself, humbled by this experience. There were hugs that couldn't last long enough, handshakes that trembled yet still with a sense of firmness.

When a loved one dies, we have our own memories to live on during the hardest times. I had no memories of myself and the person who had passed, so these moments were what I lived by. My memories with my close friend started to filter through my brain, and the fact that his entire life would be different forever, and my relationship with him as well.

There is no right thing to say to anyone, as everyone reacts differently. Just being there though, is often more than enough.

And you know what, it's not fair. But it can't be changed. It's hard to appreciate people on a daily basis, even the people we love the most. At the end of the day though, it's not worth holding a grudge. You just never know. When it comes to family and close, trustworthy friends, it might be time to take a step back from the stupid little things and let it all go for the big picture. We are here just a brief moment in time, some of us a little longer, some of us a little shorter. What is the point of hating, complaining, nagging, and needing in the grand scheme of things?

After attending something like that, anyone that does not call their own family members and just saying "I love you" needs a reality check. Things don't always go our way. But that is one of the only things we can control, a simple phone call, or text message. I've thought about that wake everyday since I went on Monday, it's something I'll never forget.

It's not going to be easy for my friend, as we all know. It isn't easy for anyone. The only thing I can do, is be there for him, and live my own life without a regret, and never forget to keep the main thing the main thing in my mind.

I'm Going to Church

Just yesterday, October 19th, was the Feast Day of St. Isaac Jogues, John de Brebeuf, and Companions. They were Jesuit priests who were the first North American martyrs to be recognized by the Catholic Church. They died because they defended God, and stood up for their faith even in the toughest of circumstances...a life or death situation.

So now, if there was a gun to your head, and you were asked if you believe in God, what would you say? It's a startling question, hence the Feast Day and the honoring of those who have indeed answered yes by making them known as martyrs. It's an amazing test of faith, and obviously, not everyone has to undergo that kind of test over the course of their lifetime.

But, we are tested to a lesser degree all the time. Something as little as going to church on Sunday can be considered one of those tests of faith. Are you willing to leave a riveting NFL game with your friends at 1 or 9 o clock if you're on the Ithaca College campus on the weekend? What would you say to them as you leave? If not on the IC Campus, how about a beautiful Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning? It's tough to leave, but it's really just an hour.

Some people are scared to express their faith to others, or even admit they are faith. For people my age, it is natural, as it can be weird to be different from the people around us. Some people accept it, some don't. A simple statement like, "I'm going to church," can turn into a 10 minute long debate, or 20 questions, where friends are asking all those tough questions about the Catholic Church and Jesus etc. A lot of those questions start with the word: Why?

Often, there is no explanation other than simply: That's what I believe. Nothing else really needs to be said after that. That is usually the right answer to every question about your faith. You believe it, and you're confident about that, and will defend it.

Now, it's not necessary for all of us to go off gallivanting about our faith, saying that our way is the only way. God doesn't want that. Some people choose to spread the Catholic faith to other countries by being a missionary or something like that, which is what some people are called to do. For us though, the only thing we really have to do is be sure of our faith, even in the toughest of atmospheres. That way, it spreads simply in our daily actions with others around us.

No one is forcing us to believe in God, only our own inner strength keeps our faith alive. So, be proud of it. Be proud of going to church when others decide not to. We get better in that hour. We don't necessarily have to be martyrs, but we can do our best to stay confident with our faith, and not be afraid to spread it to others on a daily basis.

The Man in the Mirror

As I sit here in my comfortable chair, in a room just around 72 degrees, typing away at almost the latest in technology, it's easy to feel comfortable and relaxed in this atmosphere. It's easy to take it for granted, and even complain or whine about the things I don't have.

Let's take ourselves to another place. A cold, dark one. A tight, enclosed space with 33 other people. No technology to speak of. Close your eyes and see it. Now see it for 69 days in a row. That's what the caved in miners in the San Jose mine in Chile had to deal with. Three months is an entire summer, think about how long that is, and all that you accomplished in that period of time. I completed an entire lifting program through that time, took an online course, and grew closer to my family. Those miners had none of that. Day after day, they had to sit and simply think.

We can often be the victim of our own thoughts, as over thinking anything can lead to flip flopping and possibly going down the wrong road, if our thoughts aren't corrected. Yet, these miners in Chili had nothing to do, but think. It's difficult for even myself to turn my mind off before I go to bed at night, but I don't know how I could handle that for 3 months in a row.

As of now, 17 miners have been rescued since yesterday, as finally these souls have seen a natural light. As near-death experiences often do, some of saved men claim that they are changed people forever.

One man, Mario Sepulveda, said in a CNN.com article, "I was with God, and I was with the devil. They fought, and God won," he said. Sepulveda also said he grabbed God's hand and never doubted that he would be rescued.

Cartoons always seem to show the whole angel and devil on the shoulders routine. But that statement infuses that cartoon into the real world. Now it would be pretty fascinating to see that fight between good and evil actually happen in front of our own eyes, but then you stop and think, when have I seen that in my life? Who won?

Did you take, or grab, God's hand, when it came to trusting Him to get you out of a sticky situation? It's pretty simple to take the easy way out, or the path of least resistance, which usually is the decision that will hurt the most people. Yet, Sepulveda had the strength to take the high road, whatever that might have meant down there, and work through the problem, and above all, have the faith that he would be saved. That's powerful stuff.

Something else that sticks out is the "changed man" idea. It bothers me, at times, that it takes a great tragedy, or near death experience, to really change people. I give them all the credit in the world for feeling like they need to change their lives, and maybe they did need that wake up call. But, for those who haven't had that near death experience in life, let's not wait to change. Yes, mistakes happen, but it's not right to repeat the same ones over and over again. We need to learn from others mistakes as well, so we as a people don't make the same ones.

So, instead of one huge tragic situation that changes us, why not use little ones every week to reevaluate our life? That way the change isn't so drastic so that we lose a little piece of ourselves. Come to church every Sunday, ready to evaluate the week beforehand. The good and bad decisions. The good and bad events. That's the only way to spark real change, and create real goodness. It's a constant state of transition, as we are never completely perfect. But God, and even loved ones, see that effort to indeed be the difference, that might not only change our own lives, but those around us as well.

When it comes to tough situations, we have to know we need God, but that all becomes easier if we tune-up our lives on a constant basis, instead of waiting for a disaster.

As the men get carried up in these next few days, think of their situation, and their thoughts, and how we would react. Michael Jackson sang about "The Man in the Mirror." The question is, do we like our own reaction? If not, you might have explaining to do, not only to God, but yourself as well.

Hopefully, by the end of it all, you can say, "I was, and still am with God."

You Gotta Have Faith

This week's readings concern faith. And well, there isn't much to say about faith. You basically either have it, or you don't. Sure, we all have doubts, but faith is what saves us from those doubts. It's one of those things that can really change you life though. A trust that we are all part of God's plan, and the piece of mind that He is always with us should keep us cool in even the most dire of situations. No matter what the problem is, faith helps us through it.

There's an emptiness without it, with no real cornerstone to rely on when things get rough, or even when things get great. Faith keeps us grounded, not allowing us to get ridiculously high or low depending on the situation. Ultimately, that keeps us in control of our lives, and able to make wise decisions.

Instead of dragging on and on about faith, today I'll cut the blog short, because my faith is different than yours. It's simply time to step up and make it stronger by growing that trust, coming to church more often, or just praying instead of freaking out.

So think about it, the only one who can change your faith is you.